If there is anything in this world that I would appreciate just a little more quality and cost control it would have to be Hanes T-shirts. The standard white ones with a crew neck cut. Likely the same vintage as the one famously depicted by James Dean strutting down a NYC street.
I don't do wife beaters. That just ain't my style. So when I throw on a dress shirt, my undershirt of choice is a white T-shirt. And since I go through a lot of these for work and other all-purpose dress occasions, I prefer to just go with the standard (aka "cheap") ones. I could go with another, more expensive brand, but this wouldn't guarantee year-to-year quality control. Plus these are primarily undershirts, with occasional summertime or working-man exposure. Why drop more than a few dollars for essentially a disposable work horse?
So anyway, when the time comes to refresh my existing batch of shirts, I simply go with the same large Hanes T-shirts. And I find that despite going with the same brand and size, I can either look hip with a neatly trimmed, yet un-tuckable, shortie, or deflated in a bloused gown fitting for a pregnant giant. Then, of course, there are the ones that sometimes fit perfectly, which is why I guess I continue this high-risk behavior. But then I have to segregate my stack of white shirts based on which version is, well, more fitting for the occasion. Knowing that I will never blouse in public but that I could, in short un-laundered supply, use one as an undershirt.
But c'mon, man, why can't a large just always be the same size? The white is always the same. You get the name brand spelling correct. Is it that the Asian country of origin fluctuates and so does the cultural point-of-reference? Sumo is pretty large in Japan, should we create a new size for that human profile? Do some countries or languages fail to recognize the international scaling of small-medium-large? How do the girth and length both vary by hundreds of percent??
This inconvenience is more aggravating by the fact that you can't reasonably try on the shirts before purchasing them. Not like the more expensive, and less breathable, ones that you might buy one at a time at an Old Navy or American Eagle. Speaking of which, if you want a good deal on these onsie-twosies, always scope out Michael's Crafts Stores- they sell them as blank shirts for designing with speckles, etc. but without that crap they actually make great out-in-public shirts for not a lot of moolah. No comment, though, on their 9-to-5 undershirt-ability.
Anyway, so the Hanes ones are tightly wrapped in plastic and not available for dress fittings. Then couple this presentation with the fluctuating price. Over the weekend, I stopped myself before agreeing to purchase a 5-pack from Kohl's for $35. Yes, $35. The sale was then you get a second pack at half price, or $18. Ridiculous, but this was manufacturer suggested price, apparently. Intelligently, I held out and my girlfriend took my advice and grabbed me an identical pack at Target for $13. Yes, almost a 1/3 the price at Kohl's. What the hell, Kohl's!? Not only do I have to put up with inconsistent shirt quality, but now you inflate the price the same 300% scale that sometimes the waist size grows! Although, I do see some potential increased return in rag and sunblock protection in future stages of the T-shirt life-cycle.
Next time, I'd appreciate all Hanes T-shirt point of sales displaying an aptly buff mannequin of about my proportions displaying the proven fit of the current stock of shirts. That and the same $10+ cost no matter what the store is. I realize the shirts might sell in Hollywood or somewhere were idiots (a.k.a. models) might be willing to pay the ridiculous MSRP but don't screw with blue-white professionals everywhere else. I'm not a model but I'd appreciate if you treated me like one when it comes to the fit. Thanks.
