Numbers are symbolic for lots of people. Sometimes randomly prescribed by a fortune cookie, but usually just by reappearance in one's life, whether actually or perceived to be more frequent. For me, those numbers include 2 and 5. With both good and bad associations, there is a comforting balance when I see them. And in the form of the number 52, there is even more wonder. The number of weeks in a year, cards in deck, and a pleasantly offsetting multiple of two superstitious values. The Chinese and Japanese abhor the number 4 as it is a homonym for death in their languages. And most people also regard the Baker's Dozen (13) as an unlucky number. But multiply them together and perhaps two wrongs make a right in 52. (Or two Wrights make an airplane, I know, mom.)
But it is with this 52th installment of daily pseudo-Rooney reflection, along with a step increase in other daily responsibilities, that I am hanging up the typewriter. No, not for good, but just no longer in the capacity of this periodical. Look at Andy, he only ever had to report once a week, or at most 52 times a year. Not quite by design but in retrospect I figure each of my posts demands about an average of 2 minutes of readership attention, maximum, about the same length of attention needed to digest a closing Rooney rant. But if you're a speed reader, I imagine you can whip though each essay in little over a minute, perhaps then taking in all essays in a tad More Than 60 Minutes.
Absent finding a Lucky Penny today, I figure there could be some other cosmic significance in the fact that it is a New Moon tonight. But those occur 13 times a year so there was a 1 in 28 chance of that happening anyway. But it is also Fat Tuesday, the annual party in New Orleans. That's a plus. It also happens to be Ellen Page's birthday (she's 25), but I don't think that represents much of anything except what her Mama and Papa Pages were doing about 9 months earlier in 1986.
Since this post will ultimately become an intro to the overall blog, I figured I'd mention that upon it's start, there was no real format or goals, it was simply to transform eclectic views into print. Although initially biased towards pop culture and opinion, in hindsight I would add that there were also bits of investigation, stories, and experimental production. Nothing fanciful, but diversions from the main approach at times, for entertainment and, well, test purposes.
Also, while each post is stand-alone, there are some continuing themes throughout the entire collection. Admittedly, some are straightforward and calculated, but some are less obvious and evolving. Perhaps if you indulge in every article you might even figure out my grandma's famous chicken noodle recipe. But as a minimum you might learn something about cupcakes.
With quality the intended recipe, not every post makes it into the chef's rank of "favorite". If you do you have a mild interest, allow me to reference you to the following: MexWeCan, Spam, and Calendars. The directory is easily navigated so be rewarded those who seek.
I will also go old-fashioned in the web linking by suggesting that if you would like to support this endeavor, two options are available. There is a Facebook Page expressly set up for Andy Rooney's Revenge whereby, again, if you seek it out and friend it, you would be demonstrating a neighborly interest plus reciprocating in an audience appreciation fashion (in which case Thank You). Secondly, for y'alls pleasure, I made the Nacho Bama's graphic available as a bunch of cheesy novelties in Cafe Press. Just click the sidebar version to visit. Trust me, I don't get peanuts from this, but I figured throw it out there, especially if the Mexican Mitt Romney gets the Republican nod this year then the tagline "Vote Mexican" could perfectly ambiguate the whole message. C'mon Mitt!
In closing, let me revisit the quote offered in the very first post. Borrowing form Walt Whitman, "To be a great poet, you need a great audience." That's one naturalist's point of view. The realist would also say you need hard work, dedication, and some luck.
And a Don King-promotion of a headline.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Hanes My Way
If there is anything in this world that I would appreciate just a little more quality and cost control it would have to be Hanes T-shirts. The standard white ones with a crew neck cut. Likely the same vintage as the one famously depicted by James Dean strutting down a NYC street.
I don't do wife beaters. That just ain't my style. So when I throw on a dress shirt, my undershirt of choice is a white T-shirt. And since I go through a lot of these for work and other all-purpose dress occasions, I prefer to just go with the standard (aka "cheap") ones. I could go with another, more expensive brand, but this wouldn't guarantee year-to-year quality control. Plus these are primarily undershirts, with occasional summertime or working-man exposure. Why drop more than a few dollars for essentially a disposable work horse?
So anyway, when the time comes to refresh my existing batch of shirts, I simply go with the same large Hanes T-shirts. And I find that despite going with the same brand and size, I can either look hip with a neatly trimmed, yet un-tuckable, shortie, or deflated in a bloused gown fitting for a pregnant giant. Then, of course, there are the ones that sometimes fit perfectly, which is why I guess I continue this high-risk behavior. But then I have to segregate my stack of white shirts based on which version is, well, more fitting for the occasion. Knowing that I will never blouse in public but that I could, in short un-laundered supply, use one as an undershirt.
But c'mon, man, why can't a large just always be the same size? The white is always the same. You get the name brand spelling correct. Is it that the Asian country of origin fluctuates and so does the cultural point-of-reference? Sumo is pretty large in Japan, should we create a new size for that human profile? Do some countries or languages fail to recognize the international scaling of small-medium-large? How do the girth and length both vary by hundreds of percent??
This inconvenience is more aggravating by the fact that you can't reasonably try on the shirts before purchasing them. Not like the more expensive, and less breathable, ones that you might buy one at a time at an Old Navy or American Eagle. Speaking of which, if you want a good deal on these onsie-twosies, always scope out Michael's Crafts Stores- they sell them as blank shirts for designing with speckles, etc. but without that crap they actually make great out-in-public shirts for not a lot of moolah. No comment, though, on their 9-to-5 undershirt-ability.
Anyway, so the Hanes ones are tightly wrapped in plastic and not available for dress fittings. Then couple this presentation with the fluctuating price. Over the weekend, I stopped myself before agreeing to purchase a 5-pack from Kohl's for $35. Yes, $35. The sale was then you get a second pack at half price, or $18. Ridiculous, but this was manufacturer suggested price, apparently. Intelligently, I held out and my girlfriend took my advice and grabbed me an identical pack at Target for $13. Yes, almost a 1/3 the price at Kohl's. What the hell, Kohl's!? Not only do I have to put up with inconsistent shirt quality, but now you inflate the price the same 300% scale that sometimes the waist size grows! Although, I do see some potential increased return in rag and sunblock protection in future stages of the T-shirt life-cycle.
Next time, I'd appreciate all Hanes T-shirt point of sales displaying an aptly buff mannequin of about my proportions displaying the proven fit of the current stock of shirts. That and the same $10+ cost no matter what the store is. I realize the shirts might sell in Hollywood or somewhere were idiots (a.k.a. models) might be willing to pay the ridiculous MSRP but don't screw with blue-white professionals everywhere else. I'm not a model but I'd appreciate if you treated me like one when it comes to the fit. Thanks.
I don't do wife beaters. That just ain't my style. So when I throw on a dress shirt, my undershirt of choice is a white T-shirt. And since I go through a lot of these for work and other all-purpose dress occasions, I prefer to just go with the standard (aka "cheap") ones. I could go with another, more expensive brand, but this wouldn't guarantee year-to-year quality control. Plus these are primarily undershirts, with occasional summertime or working-man exposure. Why drop more than a few dollars for essentially a disposable work horse?
So anyway, when the time comes to refresh my existing batch of shirts, I simply go with the same large Hanes T-shirts. And I find that despite going with the same brand and size, I can either look hip with a neatly trimmed, yet un-tuckable, shortie, or deflated in a bloused gown fitting for a pregnant giant. Then, of course, there are the ones that sometimes fit perfectly, which is why I guess I continue this high-risk behavior. But then I have to segregate my stack of white shirts based on which version is, well, more fitting for the occasion. Knowing that I will never blouse in public but that I could, in short un-laundered supply, use one as an undershirt.
But c'mon, man, why can't a large just always be the same size? The white is always the same. You get the name brand spelling correct. Is it that the Asian country of origin fluctuates and so does the cultural point-of-reference? Sumo is pretty large in Japan, should we create a new size for that human profile? Do some countries or languages fail to recognize the international scaling of small-medium-large? How do the girth and length both vary by hundreds of percent??
This inconvenience is more aggravating by the fact that you can't reasonably try on the shirts before purchasing them. Not like the more expensive, and less breathable, ones that you might buy one at a time at an Old Navy or American Eagle. Speaking of which, if you want a good deal on these onsie-twosies, always scope out Michael's Crafts Stores- they sell them as blank shirts for designing with speckles, etc. but without that crap they actually make great out-in-public shirts for not a lot of moolah. No comment, though, on their 9-to-5 undershirt-ability.
Anyway, so the Hanes ones are tightly wrapped in plastic and not available for dress fittings. Then couple this presentation with the fluctuating price. Over the weekend, I stopped myself before agreeing to purchase a 5-pack from Kohl's for $35. Yes, $35. The sale was then you get a second pack at half price, or $18. Ridiculous, but this was manufacturer suggested price, apparently. Intelligently, I held out and my girlfriend took my advice and grabbed me an identical pack at Target for $13. Yes, almost a 1/3 the price at Kohl's. What the hell, Kohl's!? Not only do I have to put up with inconsistent shirt quality, but now you inflate the price the same 300% scale that sometimes the waist size grows! Although, I do see some potential increased return in rag and sunblock protection in future stages of the T-shirt life-cycle.
Next time, I'd appreciate all Hanes T-shirt point of sales displaying an aptly buff mannequin of about my proportions displaying the proven fit of the current stock of shirts. That and the same $10+ cost no matter what the store is. I realize the shirts might sell in Hollywood or somewhere were idiots (a.k.a. models) might be willing to pay the ridiculous MSRP but don't screw with blue-white professionals everywhere else. I'm not a model but I'd appreciate if you treated me like one when it comes to the fit. Thanks.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Presidents Precedents
With President's Day upon us (tomorrow), and an upcoming election this fall, I figured I'd take a look at some of the interesting statistics regarding past Presidents and what impact, subconscious or known, it might have on the forthcoming election.
I won't get into political positions, topical issues of the nation, or any other debatable historical issues. I plan to keep it simple, since, frankly, who has the time to impartially weigh every candidate's position? And therefore judgments expectantly defer, in part, to psychological influence. Like what name sounds more presidential.
I also won't get into the obvious pattern of an all-male Chief Executive since our country's birth. Or the fact that only one race was represented since the last election. But I would suggest that there is an interesting rarity to our current President's name, one that may have in fact helped his cause by complementing both the new physical identity he represented in the White House as well as his bold message of change. For if the same candidate was named Eric Smith and ran on those grounds, perhaps the national reception would not have been as grand.
It's not unusual to conclude that the Presidency, by name, has been branded. People are comforted by brands, and that's a large reason we return to ones that we love, or ditch ones that we don't. It certainly sounds superficial, but the truth is how many times do names become synonymous with a feeling, and strongly so? Look at Steven Spielberg. If you were to hear of another person named Spielberg you might, subconsciously, become more attune to listening openly for a good story or advice even. Even though the person may have nothing to do with the famous director. Or look at Hitler. One name says it all. Chances are it will be difficult for any person, worldwide, to ever come to power with a name like that, or Adolph for that matter.
With the U.S.A, the preeminent precedent is George Washington. A simple yet bold name with a first name of a British monarch (perhaps something that may have helped propel him to leadership). In fact, 17 of the 44 Presidents elected have first names that correspond to British or Scottish royalty. A disproportionate percentage (39%) of the population based on 1990's census statistics of male first names (11.5% of population went by William, Richard, John, George, or James that year). There would certainly be some difference in name popularity over time, but this example clearly shows a pattern that would be difficult to normalize in any historical election snapshot.
Then you can consider the repetition of a given name. 18 out of 44 (41%) first names have been repeated. 5 of 44 (11%) last names have been repeated. Sometimes the repeat is due to familial relation, but this reinforces the mindset of the voter particularly in cases where there is no relation. Instinct or not, people associate others by their names, so if another President had the same name, and they weren't named Nixon, chances are that there would be a favorable connotation of inherent leadership. Again, looking at 1990 census statistics, take the most popular last name "Smith". It occurs in almost 1 out of every 100 people. If you were to take just 2 people at random to name president, you would have a 1 out of 1,000 chance they'd both be a Smith. But even if you had one already named Smith, it would take you, statistically, 11 election cycles to reach the 11% repetitive frequency seen in Presidential last names. And the Presidents would still have slightly better odds of repeating than this most popular last name.
Back to our initial President Washington, there is another pattern in simply the last 2 letters of his name. 11 out of 44 (25%) of all Presidents have this "-on" ending in common, the latest being Bill Clinton. Bill is anomaly, himself, with Presidential branding all over him in his formal name of William Jefferson Clinton. Interestingly, he was born William Jefferson Blythe III but changed his surname to Clinton after his stepfather when he was 15. The name "Clinton" first appeared in U.S. executive power as early as 1804 as the 4th Vice President of the United States (George Clinton VP to Thomas Jefferson). Not well known in history, but still a bit that could have been learned at a young age by voters then later registered, subconsciously, during Bill's elections.
While these stats are basic in their methods, and could be refined to look more closely at other leaders, such as Representatives, Senators, and Vice Presidents, there appear to be at least some patterns that are worth acknowledging for there influence on the minds of voters. Also, familiarity, in general, is the common theme and this is also evidenced by the large number of re-elections (this study just focused on changes in command). A staggering 20 of 44 (45%) of U.S. Presidents have been re-elected (this is counting Grover Cleveland as 2 of the U.S. Presidents since his terms were split and he is recognized as the 22nd and 24th President, respectively, the only person with two such designations).
But the number 45 is symbolic as you wonder if we will see a 45th President this year or if the 45% will hold and Obama will be re-elected. Interestingly, the conservative Republican party primaries are experiencing a shift in it's top candidate from Mitt Romney to the more conservative sounding, and historical name, Richard (Rick) Santorum. And while his last name does not end in "-0n", phonetically it is close. This would certainly make for an interesting election if Mr. Santorum, and naming history, were pitted against Mr. Obama, and re-election history.
I won't get into political positions, topical issues of the nation, or any other debatable historical issues. I plan to keep it simple, since, frankly, who has the time to impartially weigh every candidate's position? And therefore judgments expectantly defer, in part, to psychological influence. Like what name sounds more presidential.
I also won't get into the obvious pattern of an all-male Chief Executive since our country's birth. Or the fact that only one race was represented since the last election. But I would suggest that there is an interesting rarity to our current President's name, one that may have in fact helped his cause by complementing both the new physical identity he represented in the White House as well as his bold message of change. For if the same candidate was named Eric Smith and ran on those grounds, perhaps the national reception would not have been as grand.
It's not unusual to conclude that the Presidency, by name, has been branded. People are comforted by brands, and that's a large reason we return to ones that we love, or ditch ones that we don't. It certainly sounds superficial, but the truth is how many times do names become synonymous with a feeling, and strongly so? Look at Steven Spielberg. If you were to hear of another person named Spielberg you might, subconsciously, become more attune to listening openly for a good story or advice even. Even though the person may have nothing to do with the famous director. Or look at Hitler. One name says it all. Chances are it will be difficult for any person, worldwide, to ever come to power with a name like that, or Adolph for that matter.
With the U.S.A, the preeminent precedent is George Washington. A simple yet bold name with a first name of a British monarch (perhaps something that may have helped propel him to leadership). In fact, 17 of the 44 Presidents elected have first names that correspond to British or Scottish royalty. A disproportionate percentage (39%) of the population based on 1990's census statistics of male first names (11.5% of population went by William, Richard, John, George, or James that year). There would certainly be some difference in name popularity over time, but this example clearly shows a pattern that would be difficult to normalize in any historical election snapshot.
Then you can consider the repetition of a given name. 18 out of 44 (41%) first names have been repeated. 5 of 44 (11%) last names have been repeated. Sometimes the repeat is due to familial relation, but this reinforces the mindset of the voter particularly in cases where there is no relation. Instinct or not, people associate others by their names, so if another President had the same name, and they weren't named Nixon, chances are that there would be a favorable connotation of inherent leadership. Again, looking at 1990 census statistics, take the most popular last name "Smith". It occurs in almost 1 out of every 100 people. If you were to take just 2 people at random to name president, you would have a 1 out of 1,000 chance they'd both be a Smith. But even if you had one already named Smith, it would take you, statistically, 11 election cycles to reach the 11% repetitive frequency seen in Presidential last names. And the Presidents would still have slightly better odds of repeating than this most popular last name.
Back to our initial President Washington, there is another pattern in simply the last 2 letters of his name. 11 out of 44 (25%) of all Presidents have this "-on" ending in common, the latest being Bill Clinton. Bill is anomaly, himself, with Presidential branding all over him in his formal name of William Jefferson Clinton. Interestingly, he was born William Jefferson Blythe III but changed his surname to Clinton after his stepfather when he was 15. The name "Clinton" first appeared in U.S. executive power as early as 1804 as the 4th Vice President of the United States (George Clinton VP to Thomas Jefferson). Not well known in history, but still a bit that could have been learned at a young age by voters then later registered, subconsciously, during Bill's elections.
While these stats are basic in their methods, and could be refined to look more closely at other leaders, such as Representatives, Senators, and Vice Presidents, there appear to be at least some patterns that are worth acknowledging for there influence on the minds of voters. Also, familiarity, in general, is the common theme and this is also evidenced by the large number of re-elections (this study just focused on changes in command). A staggering 20 of 44 (45%) of U.S. Presidents have been re-elected (this is counting Grover Cleveland as 2 of the U.S. Presidents since his terms were split and he is recognized as the 22nd and 24th President, respectively, the only person with two such designations).
But the number 45 is symbolic as you wonder if we will see a 45th President this year or if the 45% will hold and Obama will be re-elected. Interestingly, the conservative Republican party primaries are experiencing a shift in it's top candidate from Mitt Romney to the more conservative sounding, and historical name, Richard (Rick) Santorum. And while his last name does not end in "-0n", phonetically it is close. This would certainly make for an interesting election if Mr. Santorum, and naming history, were pitted against Mr. Obama, and re-election history.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Speed Writing
Lots of activities have adopted the adjective "speed", and for various reasons other than expediency. Speed golf is one, whereby the game pace is upped to a run and hit, thereby evening the playing field for those who don't normally stand a chance hitting the ball correctly. Then there is speed walking, not that normal walking is that bad, but you can increase your cardio workout, or make that actually exercise your cardio, without having to don skin tight Under Armor. Then there is speed dating, which is basically like fishing, since there are tons in the sea, but using a lure over and over again instead of the normal bait and wait.
Then there are some people that are speed readers. Beats me how they do it, I still read at the same lousy 25 words per minute that I used to when I was still part of the Book It club. Except now it takes me a year to get through a real book and after 5 years I still don't get a personal pan pizza out of it. But as I get out of the shower today and have a great oyster beer on my mind waiting for me, I wonder if anybody openly speed writes?
Writing certainly takes more time than reading. So I would imagine if any of those two communication vices could be better served by increased frequency I would put my money on writing. But it is interesting, in this world of metrics and GDP and cost reduction that I've never really heard of anything like time required to write something. Except when it comes to standardized tests. When one is forced to write a B+ commentative report in 30 minutes or less on how a character from Moby Dick could evolve into a mystical siren representing a global chain of coffee.
Other than efficiency, getting more words on paper in a short amount of time, I can't imagine that speed writing carries any additional benefits like more competitive gaming or increased cardio. It does force the mind to establish then follow a set path, even though it may not be the best path for getting to the end destination. But ultimately, sometimes, you just need to get the destination and it doesn't matter if it was the attractive scenic route or the 6-lane highway. Because in most cases, nobody takes the scenic route these days anyway, it's all about speed and staring at endless pavement and fake stone walls that separate us from the semi-real world of neighborhoods that have no desire to stare at or listen to us.
Writing is a means to an end, as well as an art. But the value is not so much for the writer, who can, and should, expend whatever time is necessary to craft the message. The value is the fact that once created, time will have a hell of time letting the rest of the world forget it.
Then there are some people that are speed readers. Beats me how they do it, I still read at the same lousy 25 words per minute that I used to when I was still part of the Book It club. Except now it takes me a year to get through a real book and after 5 years I still don't get a personal pan pizza out of it. But as I get out of the shower today and have a great oyster beer on my mind waiting for me, I wonder if anybody openly speed writes?
Writing certainly takes more time than reading. So I would imagine if any of those two communication vices could be better served by increased frequency I would put my money on writing. But it is interesting, in this world of metrics and GDP and cost reduction that I've never really heard of anything like time required to write something. Except when it comes to standardized tests. When one is forced to write a B+ commentative report in 30 minutes or less on how a character from Moby Dick could evolve into a mystical siren representing a global chain of coffee.
Other than efficiency, getting more words on paper in a short amount of time, I can't imagine that speed writing carries any additional benefits like more competitive gaming or increased cardio. It does force the mind to establish then follow a set path, even though it may not be the best path for getting to the end destination. But ultimately, sometimes, you just need to get the destination and it doesn't matter if it was the attractive scenic route or the 6-lane highway. Because in most cases, nobody takes the scenic route these days anyway, it's all about speed and staring at endless pavement and fake stone walls that separate us from the semi-real world of neighborhoods that have no desire to stare at or listen to us.
Writing is a means to an end, as well as an art. But the value is not so much for the writer, who can, and should, expend whatever time is necessary to craft the message. The value is the fact that once created, time will have a hell of time letting the rest of the world forget it.
Friday, February 17, 2012
5 Ways to Save the Penny
A few days ago President Obama requested permission from congress to change the mix of metals that go into producing pennies and nickels. Both are made from zinc and copper, but the cost to produce a single coin exceeds the value that they're worth. A penny costs 2.4 cents to produce where a nickel costs 11.2 cents, in 2011.
While the debate has been raised before, the administration claims that is has no desire to eliminate the penny. But if it did, based on cost considerations alone, it would be hard to argue the nickel doesn't deserve to get the axe as well. Plus, despite congressional attempts a few years ago to eliminate the penny, alone, and start rounding tabs to the nearest 5 cents, well, that just isn't a practical solution. This country will never round to the nearest 5 cents because that is confusing as hell. You either take out the penny with the nickel, or leave them both alone. This is a decimal system, not a bi-decimal system (or whatever confusing name you want to call it).
Personally, I prefer to see the penny stick around, or at least if it has to go that is fades away based on consumer and retailer preferences. Some stores and retailers already disregard it, generally rounding in favor of the consumer when making change. Then you have carnies that simply don't even put up with change, making all ring toss and fishing games cost whole dollars (or at least something divisible by a quarter). My fascination is not so much with the face value (obviously), but with the other perceived values. I will admit that I am one of those that, when I see a penny on the ground face up, I take it as a sign of good luck. Call it superstition, but who's to say it isn't? If it results in a positive feeling then perhaps there are some actual physical benefits worth more than 1 cent of any drug or taking 1 second to step into a place of worship.
There's also the nostalgic distraction of looking at a given penny's mint date. Remembering where you were when the coin was produced and how your paths have now randomly crossed. Sure, this feeling can reproduced with any American currency, but the penny is unique in that is the smallest, seemingly most inconsequential part of our value system. But in fact the opposite is true. Since it is the smallest, it is actually the foundation of our currency system. A symbol of indivisibility. Hence the reason it will be so difficult to eliminate it. If congress wants to take measures to eliminate any coin then they would likely have better results going after the nickel, alone. Then when consumers and retailers get tired of administrative hassle of dealing with the extra pennies, the system will start adopting the dime as the preferred denomination to round to.
In the meantime, I applaud the approach of mixing up the metallic components of the penny and nickel. However, I would like to put forth a few other honest alternatives aimed at keeping the existing change values unchanged:
1. Mint the coins in China. Seriously. The quoted cost of the raw metal that goes into the penny is actually only 0.6 cent. The rest of the cost comes from suppliers rolling the metal and then manufacturers stamping them out. If these manufacturing steps were opened to competition outside the U.S. then surely a better deal will be obtained.
2. Pay people 2 cents to turn in the pennies that they already have. Why not? This is surely cheaper than producing new pennies that cost 2.4 cents apiece. Plus, if people can get a 100% rate of return on their change then why wouldn't they adjust their coin saving habits, or lack thereof? Some people admit to just throwing coins away. This system would serve the purpose of preserving existing pennies but also reduce the need for manufacturing new ones.
3. Instead of copper-coated zinc, why not consider copper-coated plastic? Or some other material (other than metal) to use as a substrate? As long as the exterior is metal, the interior could possibly be something cheaper than zinc, and my guess would be that plastic fits that bill. Plus it could be cheaper to produce plastic coins. People already pay most of their bills with plastic anyway, so there is some precedent.
4. Partner with Canada to produce a single penny design accepted in both nations. Face it, if you live anywhere near the border you already get mixed pennies, and sometimes other coins, in your change anyway. But it isn't really a big deal since they are approximately the same size and value anyway, especially with the exchange rate hovering around 1. If more nations adopted the same penny then, in theory, a smaller unit cost to manufacture could be obtained at higher volumes. Not much discount when billions are already produced, but every fraction of a cent counts.
5. Hollow out the penny. For example, make it more like a washer. While Lincoln's face is great, his likeness and other sayings can still be scribed on a ring rather than a full circular face. Just look at how much can be squeezed onto a dime. The end result would be mostly a material savings, but again, every cent counts.
Only after we abandon some of our pre-conceived notions about currency will we be able to take the right steps to ensure that nothing actually changes.
While the debate has been raised before, the administration claims that is has no desire to eliminate the penny. But if it did, based on cost considerations alone, it would be hard to argue the nickel doesn't deserve to get the axe as well. Plus, despite congressional attempts a few years ago to eliminate the penny, alone, and start rounding tabs to the nearest 5 cents, well, that just isn't a practical solution. This country will never round to the nearest 5 cents because that is confusing as hell. You either take out the penny with the nickel, or leave them both alone. This is a decimal system, not a bi-decimal system (or whatever confusing name you want to call it).
Personally, I prefer to see the penny stick around, or at least if it has to go that is fades away based on consumer and retailer preferences. Some stores and retailers already disregard it, generally rounding in favor of the consumer when making change. Then you have carnies that simply don't even put up with change, making all ring toss and fishing games cost whole dollars (or at least something divisible by a quarter). My fascination is not so much with the face value (obviously), but with the other perceived values. I will admit that I am one of those that, when I see a penny on the ground face up, I take it as a sign of good luck. Call it superstition, but who's to say it isn't? If it results in a positive feeling then perhaps there are some actual physical benefits worth more than 1 cent of any drug or taking 1 second to step into a place of worship.
There's also the nostalgic distraction of looking at a given penny's mint date. Remembering where you were when the coin was produced and how your paths have now randomly crossed. Sure, this feeling can reproduced with any American currency, but the penny is unique in that is the smallest, seemingly most inconsequential part of our value system. But in fact the opposite is true. Since it is the smallest, it is actually the foundation of our currency system. A symbol of indivisibility. Hence the reason it will be so difficult to eliminate it. If congress wants to take measures to eliminate any coin then they would likely have better results going after the nickel, alone. Then when consumers and retailers get tired of administrative hassle of dealing with the extra pennies, the system will start adopting the dime as the preferred denomination to round to.
In the meantime, I applaud the approach of mixing up the metallic components of the penny and nickel. However, I would like to put forth a few other honest alternatives aimed at keeping the existing change values unchanged:
1. Mint the coins in China. Seriously. The quoted cost of the raw metal that goes into the penny is actually only 0.6 cent. The rest of the cost comes from suppliers rolling the metal and then manufacturers stamping them out. If these manufacturing steps were opened to competition outside the U.S. then surely a better deal will be obtained.
2. Pay people 2 cents to turn in the pennies that they already have. Why not? This is surely cheaper than producing new pennies that cost 2.4 cents apiece. Plus, if people can get a 100% rate of return on their change then why wouldn't they adjust their coin saving habits, or lack thereof? Some people admit to just throwing coins away. This system would serve the purpose of preserving existing pennies but also reduce the need for manufacturing new ones.
3. Instead of copper-coated zinc, why not consider copper-coated plastic? Or some other material (other than metal) to use as a substrate? As long as the exterior is metal, the interior could possibly be something cheaper than zinc, and my guess would be that plastic fits that bill. Plus it could be cheaper to produce plastic coins. People already pay most of their bills with plastic anyway, so there is some precedent.
4. Partner with Canada to produce a single penny design accepted in both nations. Face it, if you live anywhere near the border you already get mixed pennies, and sometimes other coins, in your change anyway. But it isn't really a big deal since they are approximately the same size and value anyway, especially with the exchange rate hovering around 1. If more nations adopted the same penny then, in theory, a smaller unit cost to manufacture could be obtained at higher volumes. Not much discount when billions are already produced, but every fraction of a cent counts.
5. Hollow out the penny. For example, make it more like a washer. While Lincoln's face is great, his likeness and other sayings can still be scribed on a ring rather than a full circular face. Just look at how much can be squeezed onto a dime. The end result would be mostly a material savings, but again, every cent counts.
Only after we abandon some of our pre-conceived notions about currency will we be able to take the right steps to ensure that nothing actually changes.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Personal Stylus
I think my goal in life is to simply become important enough where I can just wear what I want as a trademark outfit. Something like Steve Jobs in his blue jean, sneakers, and black turtleneck. Or Larry King, in his suspenders. Or Charles Osgood, in his bowties (only really trademarked because nobody else wears them anymore).
Lots of people wear the same outfits every day. Like suits or uniforms. Or robes and red swim trunks. But those are part of an expected dress code, and sometimes necessary to perform a job. Military dress in camouflage and doctors in scrubs, but I'm talking about being distinguished, honorably, by one's individual taste in dress. Then consistently sticking with it.
Cartoons and superheros pull off the same outfit in every appearance. Fred Flintstone in his polka dot tunic and every flying superhero with a cape, although oddly no goggles, except for the Red Baron Snoopy. It's as if artists already understand that a consistent wardrobe helps define a character, either for good or for evil. Or as a minimum it cuts down on the amount of time needed to think up a new outfit for every character and for every occasion.
Accessories could also be used. Look at Drew Carey or Harry Caray with their infamous bug-eyed glasses. Makes you wonder if Mariah Carey is hiding something. Then there was George Burns who was probably born with a lit cigar in one hand. You also have Terry Bollea (better known as Hulk Hogan) with his receding hairline gimmick of a banana-color bandana. Perhaps that's a better call then the excessively vibrant dos Andy Warhol and Burt Reynolds.
For me I think the look would simply be a pen or pencil behind one ear. Either a Bic "round stic (med/moy)", blue since it stands out against black print, or a Bic #2 mechanical pencil, for the same reason as the pen but it is handier for sketching and marking things other than paper (i.e. wood, walls, and bathroom stalls). Part of the reason is that my ears are designed well enough to support both instruments over a wide range of head movements. Also, both are abundant and cheap enough that I can usually stash a few in every place I might want to write something down. Like my car, my desk, and a Billy Brag concert (he is quite politically vocal). Thankfully, too, my gut tells me the Bic company will probably maintain their high level of consistent quality well into the future, and if not, some knock-off will release decent comparables of about 5/16" diameter and 5" length.
Aside from the pen, I am confident the rest of my attire will naturally blend in with my surroundings, or the pen will distract everybody from the rest of my lack of style. Suspenders, cape, and all.
Lots of people wear the same outfits every day. Like suits or uniforms. Or robes and red swim trunks. But those are part of an expected dress code, and sometimes necessary to perform a job. Military dress in camouflage and doctors in scrubs, but I'm talking about being distinguished, honorably, by one's individual taste in dress. Then consistently sticking with it.
Cartoons and superheros pull off the same outfit in every appearance. Fred Flintstone in his polka dot tunic and every flying superhero with a cape, although oddly no goggles, except for the Red Baron Snoopy. It's as if artists already understand that a consistent wardrobe helps define a character, either for good or for evil. Or as a minimum it cuts down on the amount of time needed to think up a new outfit for every character and for every occasion.
Accessories could also be used. Look at Drew Carey or Harry Caray with their infamous bug-eyed glasses. Makes you wonder if Mariah Carey is hiding something. Then there was George Burns who was probably born with a lit cigar in one hand. You also have Terry Bollea (better known as Hulk Hogan) with his receding hairline gimmick of a banana-color bandana. Perhaps that's a better call then the excessively vibrant dos Andy Warhol and Burt Reynolds.
For me I think the look would simply be a pen or pencil behind one ear. Either a Bic "round stic (med/moy)", blue since it stands out against black print, or a Bic #2 mechanical pencil, for the same reason as the pen but it is handier for sketching and marking things other than paper (i.e. wood, walls, and bathroom stalls). Part of the reason is that my ears are designed well enough to support both instruments over a wide range of head movements. Also, both are abundant and cheap enough that I can usually stash a few in every place I might want to write something down. Like my car, my desk, and a Billy Brag concert (he is quite politically vocal). Thankfully, too, my gut tells me the Bic company will probably maintain their high level of consistent quality well into the future, and if not, some knock-off will release decent comparables of about 5/16" diameter and 5" length.
Aside from the pen, I am confident the rest of my attire will naturally blend in with my surroundings, or the pen will distract everybody from the rest of my lack of style. Suspenders, cape, and all.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Comparing Notes
Ever notice how coupons look a lot like Post-Its? It's not really surprising since both serve the same basic function of reminding you to do something at a later point in time. Where coupons are generally bulk printed and Post-Its are personal and handwritten, there are some features inherent in both that I wouldn't mind seeing some crossover.
First off, let me say that my coupon philosophy is basically to not use them. But I make exceptions primarily for pizza and free Chick-Fil-A grub. With pizza, that is essentially how you decide what to order, and it is well-understood that you shouldn't pay full price for a pie anyway because they all offer discounts. And with Chick-Fil-A, they just offer fantastic deals. Usually a free sandwich or 8-piece nuggets. But overall, I find the business of searching and clipping coupons to not be worth the time and effort and a bit like sitting through midnight infomercials.
Aside from personal habits, I admire a couple things about coupons. One, they generally contain a high resolution picture. This makes it 100 times quicker to tell what the coupon is telling you to purchase than if it were spelled out in the same size Times New Roman or scribbled cursive. Second, the coupon generally tells you exactly the value of what you are either purchasing or about to save. Post-Its don't generally contain a baseline monetary value for following up on one what you need to accomplish. And third, coupons expire. Perhaps the best feature. More things in life should have expiration dates, not just antiquated notes. But one better, they should just self-destruct so I don't have to bother reading them and pitching them myself.
With Post-Its, you have a couple favorable points. One, they come in pre-cut, standard sizes. How many times do you get coupons that match the same length and width as it's predecessor? Plus you have to cut them out so even if you do get 2 of the same size the dotted cut line is generally an inch wide so more of a border than a linear entity. Second, and perhaps the best, they are sticky. One problem I have with coupons is where to put them when I'm heading out so that I know to use them. With Post-Its, I can stick one right on the outside of my wallet and I'll see it when I go to purchase something. Unfortunately, all Post-Its are yellow, so all my notes carry the same level of urgency and eye-catchiness. But at least I know they are trusted memos from me-of-the-past and not some advertisement to pick up 3 boxes of Little Debbies when I already have 4 in the cupboard.
I guess there are pros and cons to each, but if one product was to capitalize fully on the pros of each that would have to be Cheez-Its. And all they would really have to do would be punch a few holes in the standard Post-Its and add a little orange to the canary yellow. Then it wouldn't need any text whatsoever, the value would be understood to be infinite, and you could simply bite into it to figure if it was expired.
Either that or start scribbling your to-do list on stale Cheez-Its, licking then sticking them to your fridge. Either adaptation works pretty well.
First off, let me say that my coupon philosophy is basically to not use them. But I make exceptions primarily for pizza and free Chick-Fil-A grub. With pizza, that is essentially how you decide what to order, and it is well-understood that you shouldn't pay full price for a pie anyway because they all offer discounts. And with Chick-Fil-A, they just offer fantastic deals. Usually a free sandwich or 8-piece nuggets. But overall, I find the business of searching and clipping coupons to not be worth the time and effort and a bit like sitting through midnight infomercials.
Aside from personal habits, I admire a couple things about coupons. One, they generally contain a high resolution picture. This makes it 100 times quicker to tell what the coupon is telling you to purchase than if it were spelled out in the same size Times New Roman or scribbled cursive. Second, the coupon generally tells you exactly the value of what you are either purchasing or about to save. Post-Its don't generally contain a baseline monetary value for following up on one what you need to accomplish. And third, coupons expire. Perhaps the best feature. More things in life should have expiration dates, not just antiquated notes. But one better, they should just self-destruct so I don't have to bother reading them and pitching them myself.
With Post-Its, you have a couple favorable points. One, they come in pre-cut, standard sizes. How many times do you get coupons that match the same length and width as it's predecessor? Plus you have to cut them out so even if you do get 2 of the same size the dotted cut line is generally an inch wide so more of a border than a linear entity. Second, and perhaps the best, they are sticky. One problem I have with coupons is where to put them when I'm heading out so that I know to use them. With Post-Its, I can stick one right on the outside of my wallet and I'll see it when I go to purchase something. Unfortunately, all Post-Its are yellow, so all my notes carry the same level of urgency and eye-catchiness. But at least I know they are trusted memos from me-of-the-past and not some advertisement to pick up 3 boxes of Little Debbies when I already have 4 in the cupboard.
I guess there are pros and cons to each, but if one product was to capitalize fully on the pros of each that would have to be Cheez-Its. And all they would really have to do would be punch a few holes in the standard Post-Its and add a little orange to the canary yellow. Then it wouldn't need any text whatsoever, the value would be understood to be infinite, and you could simply bite into it to figure if it was expired.
Either that or start scribbling your to-do list on stale Cheez-Its, licking then sticking them to your fridge. Either adaptation works pretty well.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Bears
Bonanza is a great show. Was a great show. For 17 years or close to it. But like any program that replays over and over again on TV Land, too much of a good thing is just awful.
And so I find myself watching my grandmother as she passes the time watching Bonanza reruns. My family has also prepared for the occasional weekend of alternately scheduled programs by purchasing a Bonanza DVD. I think this is much like entertaining a child with a Barney DVD. But while the occasional characters of the Wild West die off, nobody has successfully taken a Smith & Wesson to the purple freak of a dinosaur.
Anyway, a man will do just about anything to keep his mind occupied. For me today this included a game of counting the excessive bears in the household. Yes, bears. For some reason, my family continue to buy bear-themed gifts for my grandma when in actuality probably just one could be re-gifted every 5 minutes. (Yes, the unfortunate reality of Alzheimer's.) And no, there are no up-and-coming boy scouts in the family nor do we share any admiration for the great city of Chicago.
The bears, I'm sure, are just a recent allure. I certainly don't recall this fascination when I was younger, not that I was paying astute attention to her collections back then- I was too busy amassing a kick-ass Matchbox set. But I think this kind of collection fervor usually comes and goes in waves, for most people. It seems like everyone has (or should have) a hobby or something that peaks their interested more than the average soul. Something like cats, or Mustangs, or sunflowers, or beer. A topical interest that allows cheeky t-shirt makers and calendar publishers to profit by your family and loved ones who just presume that those artifacts are necessary to complete your collection.
But then you get one too many of these thoughtful gifts and then you start to realize that you're becoming that person. The one who is crazy about dogs. Or who respects no other animal but cuddly koalas. You realize that people see you as more fond of the subject then you ever thought you were. A bit of human nature whereby we see you display any interest in a subject and just automatically link you to it forever. So then it is time to cut the cord. Throw away all useless paraphernalia (pretty much all) and start looking for a new association. (Except for beer, and wine for that matter, those hobbies never die out). For me, as a kid, it was wolves. For my mom it was butterflies. And now, for my grandma, it is bears. Except she doesn't have the wherewithal to know when enough is enough (ironically a garbage bag is actually stuffed with bears and further stuffed in the closet). So they just accumulate and the rest of my family still fancies her "hobby" as cute, which it still is, and never-evolving.
So back to the game, I easily reached 52 before I decided that that was enough and that I won. Enough for every season, or for every week of the year. But there were a couple of notable non-stuffed versions I encountered. A Panda Buffet 2012 wall calendar (no idea how this made it in the house since this family isn't known for it's culinary diversity), a glass money holder (with a screw-top lid proclaiming it as a bank), and a couple of plastic honey jars. There was also this magnet, which I presume must either be Smokey or Yogi in the sketch since I didn't catch either of them elsewhere in the home and I can see where people may get them all confused. Not that we're stereotyping, they all kind of look the same, really.
And so I find myself watching my grandmother as she passes the time watching Bonanza reruns. My family has also prepared for the occasional weekend of alternately scheduled programs by purchasing a Bonanza DVD. I think this is much like entertaining a child with a Barney DVD. But while the occasional characters of the Wild West die off, nobody has successfully taken a Smith & Wesson to the purple freak of a dinosaur.
Anyway, a man will do just about anything to keep his mind occupied. For me today this included a game of counting the excessive bears in the household. Yes, bears. For some reason, my family continue to buy bear-themed gifts for my grandma when in actuality probably just one could be re-gifted every 5 minutes. (Yes, the unfortunate reality of Alzheimer's.) And no, there are no up-and-coming boy scouts in the family nor do we share any admiration for the great city of Chicago.
The bears, I'm sure, are just a recent allure. I certainly don't recall this fascination when I was younger, not that I was paying astute attention to her collections back then- I was too busy amassing a kick-ass Matchbox set. But I think this kind of collection fervor usually comes and goes in waves, for most people. It seems like everyone has (or should have) a hobby or something that peaks their interested more than the average soul. Something like cats, or Mustangs, or sunflowers, or beer. A topical interest that allows cheeky t-shirt makers and calendar publishers to profit by your family and loved ones who just presume that those artifacts are necessary to complete your collection.
But then you get one too many of these thoughtful gifts and then you start to realize that you're becoming that person. The one who is crazy about dogs. Or who respects no other animal but cuddly koalas. You realize that people see you as more fond of the subject then you ever thought you were. A bit of human nature whereby we see you display any interest in a subject and just automatically link you to it forever. So then it is time to cut the cord. Throw away all useless paraphernalia (pretty much all) and start looking for a new association. (Except for beer, and wine for that matter, those hobbies never die out). For me, as a kid, it was wolves. For my mom it was butterflies. And now, for my grandma, it is bears. Except she doesn't have the wherewithal to know when enough is enough (ironically a garbage bag is actually stuffed with bears and further stuffed in the closet). So they just accumulate and the rest of my family still fancies her "hobby" as cute, which it still is, and never-evolving.
So back to the game, I easily reached 52 before I decided that that was enough and that I won. Enough for every season, or for every week of the year. But there were a couple of notable non-stuffed versions I encountered. A Panda Buffet 2012 wall calendar (no idea how this made it in the house since this family isn't known for it's culinary diversity), a glass money holder (with a screw-top lid proclaiming it as a bank), and a couple of plastic honey jars. There was also this magnet, which I presume must either be Smokey or Yogi in the sketch since I didn't catch either of them elsewhere in the home and I can see where people may get them all confused. Not that we're stereotyping, they all kind of look the same, really.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Hodge Podge
If Jeopardy can get away with a random Hodge Podge category then so can I:
1. Doesn’t anybody else notice that Safety Harbor is redundant? Or Mount Summit? Or Djibouti, Djibouti?? Stop naming things twice.
2. I hate when personal interactions affect my understanding of and reaction to words. Like retard. Or creative. Or robust. Why can’t people leave well enough alone? And Ben Roethlisberger alone
3. If Italy looks like a boot then Panama must be discarded pantyhose.
4. Future season of The Bachelor: “Will you accept this Charlie Rose?”… AND THEY WILL!
5. As great as soap is to clean shit up, it can be a royal pain to clean up itself. Stubborn soap scum in the shower. Excess dish detergent around the sink of which there is no solution or dissolution. Hand soap that seems to creep it’s way onto the outside of the SoftSoap bottle (perhaps why they make those things disposable).
6. The best damn motivational message I ever saw, on a billboard not more than a few miles from where the lecture was delivered:
7. Cynics, like comics, can be geniuses. And perhaps one in the same. “Would you be offended if I told you to stick to your strengths?” - A fellow since passed who I wished would have found and stuck with his.
8. Fact: There are companies that exist solely to name products. They’re called catchword naming specialists. Check one out called Catchword Branding and commence wondering what the fuck is wrong with this world (as well as what did you do with your life to not make earning a living so easy).
9. Does the word “cool” carry any value anymore? Or is it just a catchall for when we have no better way to aptly describe something or rather just don’t care to?
10. Loyalty is an amazing force. Bake some cookies and everyone will want one. Decorate with a rival NFL team’s logo and most will not only pass on the treats but will also hate you.
11. “Al dente” is short for impatient.
12. “It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled, or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust, and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Teddy Roosevelt
13. Editor’s note: “I’m afraid the type of man being praised by Teddy has no place in modern society. Today the kudos are reserved for the critics.” – Don Dodge
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Powers of 10
The number ten (10) certainly shows up a lot in popular history and culture. From the Ten Commandments to the Bill of Rights, to popular countdowns like David Letterman's nightly Top Whatevers and launching a space shuttle. Whether demarcating the end or the start of a list, it's popularity and frequent use suggest something more than just cosmic coincidence. And a brief look down at our hands could offer one explanation why.
The number ten (10) is rooted in the use of the base 10, or decimal, system. No, not Dewey's system, he just correlated numbers to particular topics so you wouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes of your time lost in the library. The base 10 system (for the non-nerds out there) is the means by which we count off ten numbers before indexing over to another decimal place. Perhaps the most popular base counting system understood, if not used, other than the binary, or base 2, system. So basically everything in our daily lives that involves a number is displayed in the base 10, or decimal, system. Bank statements, calendar dates, and phone numbers (how many digits can you choose from when drunk dialing?). Surely you or nobody else ever thinks about it, you shouldn't. But it is one global and historical consistency which has enabled mankind to communicate at least a little more clearly through mathematics.
Set aside democracy, the US government must have also borrowed numeration from the Romans, as well. Look at our most popular, or smallest, dollar bills. $1, $5, $10, and $20 bills. (The $2 Jefferson bill just didn't withstand the test of time, much like the Roman empire.) These numbers correspond pretty much exactly with the classical Roman numerals of I, V, X, and XX. But what makes thee numbers so special? Why would the Romans designate new characters for a quantity of 5 and of 10? And why would the number 10, graphically speaking, resemble two V's connected to each other? Again, it most likely is due to our human anatomy and a case of each I equaling 1 finger and each V equaling 1 hand. Since it you're going to establish a standard, why not pick one that is fairly common to the users, or if it is slowly changing at least it will take thousands of years to occur.
I once visited a Bodies Exhibit, actually a couple times. The controversial exhibits at science centers worldwide whereby a German scientist plasticized (that was the term they used) deceased human remains and presented them in both normal and atypical, artistic displays. The end result was basically like walking through a combination of a wax museum crossed with an anatomy book. Anyway, I happened to notice when staring at the entrails of one subject that their hands and feet looked a bit crowded with digits. Sure enough, after counting, this person displayed 6 fingers on each hand as well as 6 toes on each foot. It wasn't advertised to the public, and I later found out that visitors who paid extra for guided headset tours got the tip, so it was probably one of several biological oddities on display that day. Much like Lyle Lovett's face (why that poor man's face is the universal symbol of eh, I don't know, I'm just sticking with it).
So with ten minutes to spare until dinner (my girlfriend honestly just announced that), let me conclude that I'm thankful for the convenience and use of a common base system worldwide (10 or otherwise). I think trying to explain, or use, any other base system would definitely inhibit our ability to communicate and evolve as a "middle class" society. And the slower we evolve physically (rumor has it one day our pinky fingers and toes will cease to exist) the longer we have to morally, politically, humorously, and scientifically evolve. Or at least eclipse the Romans.
The number ten (10) is rooted in the use of the base 10, or decimal, system. No, not Dewey's system, he just correlated numbers to particular topics so you wouldn't have to spend more than 10 minutes of your time lost in the library. The base 10 system (for the non-nerds out there) is the means by which we count off ten numbers before indexing over to another decimal place. Perhaps the most popular base counting system understood, if not used, other than the binary, or base 2, system. So basically everything in our daily lives that involves a number is displayed in the base 10, or decimal, system. Bank statements, calendar dates, and phone numbers (how many digits can you choose from when drunk dialing?). Surely you or nobody else ever thinks about it, you shouldn't. But it is one global and historical consistency which has enabled mankind to communicate at least a little more clearly through mathematics.
Set aside democracy, the US government must have also borrowed numeration from the Romans, as well. Look at our most popular, or smallest, dollar bills. $1, $5, $10, and $20 bills. (The $2 Jefferson bill just didn't withstand the test of time, much like the Roman empire.) These numbers correspond pretty much exactly with the classical Roman numerals of I, V, X, and XX. But what makes thee numbers so special? Why would the Romans designate new characters for a quantity of 5 and of 10? And why would the number 10, graphically speaking, resemble two V's connected to each other? Again, it most likely is due to our human anatomy and a case of each I equaling 1 finger and each V equaling 1 hand. Since it you're going to establish a standard, why not pick one that is fairly common to the users, or if it is slowly changing at least it will take thousands of years to occur.
I once visited a Bodies Exhibit, actually a couple times. The controversial exhibits at science centers worldwide whereby a German scientist plasticized (that was the term they used) deceased human remains and presented them in both normal and atypical, artistic displays. The end result was basically like walking through a combination of a wax museum crossed with an anatomy book. Anyway, I happened to notice when staring at the entrails of one subject that their hands and feet looked a bit crowded with digits. Sure enough, after counting, this person displayed 6 fingers on each hand as well as 6 toes on each foot. It wasn't advertised to the public, and I later found out that visitors who paid extra for guided headset tours got the tip, so it was probably one of several biological oddities on display that day. Much like Lyle Lovett's face (why that poor man's face is the universal symbol of eh, I don't know, I'm just sticking with it).
So with ten minutes to spare until dinner (my girlfriend honestly just announced that), let me conclude that I'm thankful for the convenience and use of a common base system worldwide (10 or otherwise). I think trying to explain, or use, any other base system would definitely inhibit our ability to communicate and evolve as a "middle class" society. And the slower we evolve physically (rumor has it one day our pinky fingers and toes will cease to exist) the longer we have to morally, politically, humorously, and scientifically evolve. Or at least eclipse the Romans.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Old-Fashioned Post
It must be fitting irony that anything claimed as "old-fashioned" is dependent on evolution of a new standard. In probably the most literal sense of the phrase, clothing goes in and out of style in what seems to be every 6 months. But through the wider lens of history, or just flipping through your dad's closet, it is clear that fashion not only gets old but it also gets ugly.
While clothing may go out of style, food usually doesn't. I speak of two personal favorites that claim to be old-fashioned, although I don't really have the means to verify the claims. Wendy's hamburgers and Quaker Oats. Both are delicious comfort foods that I imagine have pleased growing boys and girls for several decades now. And even if they originally claimed to be old-fashioned at the time without merit, they can certainly stick with the claim now on the history of their success.
Songs also make great topics for nostalgic relativism. Fittingly, two great examples of reminiscing were born in the disco era, perhaps when everyone was really sick of the new shit on the air. The classic Three Dog Night tune "An Old Fashioned Love Song" (1971) and "call [him] old-fashioned call [him] over the hill" (rightfully so now) Mr. Bob Seger with his hit "Old Time Rock and Roll" (1978). Instant classics as they were at the time, and now, the public welcomed the new hits with US Billboard rankings of 4 and 28, respectively.
...clothing trends are usually cyclical so don't throw anything out just yet.
While clothing may go out of style, food usually doesn't. I speak of two personal favorites that claim to be old-fashioned, although I don't really have the means to verify the claims. Wendy's hamburgers and Quaker Oats. Both are delicious comfort foods that I imagine have pleased growing boys and girls for several decades now. And even if they originally claimed to be old-fashioned at the time without merit, they can certainly stick with the claim now on the history of their success.
Songs also make great topics for nostalgic relativism. Fittingly, two great examples of reminiscing were born in the disco era, perhaps when everyone was really sick of the new shit on the air. The classic Three Dog Night tune "An Old Fashioned Love Song" (1971) and "call [him] old-fashioned call [him] over the hill" (rightfully so now) Mr. Bob Seger with his hit "Old Time Rock and Roll" (1978). Instant classics as they were at the time, and now, the public welcomed the new hits with US Billboard rankings of 4 and 28, respectively.
...clothing trends are usually cyclical so don't throw anything out just yet.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Angles (& Demons)
Ever notice how some things can take on a new meaning depending on the angle with which you view them?
I attended a semi-decent middle school in Pittsburgh, a magnet they called it, and there was a disproportionately large number of Jewish kids there, in part given the close proximity to the Jewish neighborhood of Squirrel Hill. I befriended a couple of them just to attend a couple Bar Mitzvahs, which I soon learned was more like a wedding ceremony than a birthday party, and any gifts or offerings should be more commensurate with the latter. But some of them were rich and snobby anyway, so screw them that they only got $10.
Back to the point, surrounded with so much Judaism, it wasn't surprising to see Hebrew signs and print everywhere, even in school. But the best was when one kid wore a t-shirt to school with Hebrew print on it, a message that was indecipherable to anyone who wasn't orthodox Jewish, really. Except that was the joke, it wasn't actually Hebrew, just an upside down message with the letters distorted to look like ancient characters. Instead, it read "Go fuck your-self" (the dash where the line broke). Pretty funny actually, I think I had to be told what it said since why would anyone think to objectively view the message upside down. I don't know if he ever got busted, I like to think not, since anyone wearing a shirt that cool in middle school deserves nothing but respect.
Then there were the classic calculator one-offs. Where you could type the number 07734 and it would read "hELLO" upside down. Pretty lame stuff, and I'm not sure you can even do that on a calculator these days, if kids even use calculators or if they just punch everything into a smart device that doesn't have as much verbal efficiency with the numbers.
There's also the text that was made popular by Dan Brown in Angels & Demons. The Illuminati. That word, along with air, earth, wind, and fire were all written in ambigram form so that when turned 180 degrees it looked and read exactly the same as the original orientation. Pretty clever stuff that actually was the brainchild of the (real) artist John Langdon. And who is the inspiration for the fictional character Robert Langdon in Brown's novels, in name at least. I skimmed a book once called Word Play that actually goes into a lot John Langdon's work, his methods, and illustrates tons of other great examples that he has developed over the years. An interesting fact about his work, too, is that when he gets close to finalizing a piece, he only works on half of the message. A slick, and tremendously efficient, approach since then all he needs to do is copy and flip it to complete the work.
Walking thru the park the other day, I noticed another plain symbol that, if rotated 90-degrees transforms from a trespassing directive into a welcoming gesture. The hand, alone, is a ready stand-in for plenty of signals, including peace, living long (and prospering), and affirmation of a good job. It is also effective at the aforementioned "fuck yourself".
But an extended open hand also represents a gracious open mind. One that is willing to look at issues from a different light and different perspective. Or at least to appreciate and reciprocate the offering of accord. A message, perhaps, more of our crossroads should reaffirm.
I attended a semi-decent middle school in Pittsburgh, a magnet they called it, and there was a disproportionately large number of Jewish kids there, in part given the close proximity to the Jewish neighborhood of Squirrel Hill. I befriended a couple of them just to attend a couple Bar Mitzvahs, which I soon learned was more like a wedding ceremony than a birthday party, and any gifts or offerings should be more commensurate with the latter. But some of them were rich and snobby anyway, so screw them that they only got $10.
Back to the point, surrounded with so much Judaism, it wasn't surprising to see Hebrew signs and print everywhere, even in school. But the best was when one kid wore a t-shirt to school with Hebrew print on it, a message that was indecipherable to anyone who wasn't orthodox Jewish, really. Except that was the joke, it wasn't actually Hebrew, just an upside down message with the letters distorted to look like ancient characters. Instead, it read "Go fuck your-self" (the dash where the line broke). Pretty funny actually, I think I had to be told what it said since why would anyone think to objectively view the message upside down. I don't know if he ever got busted, I like to think not, since anyone wearing a shirt that cool in middle school deserves nothing but respect.
Then there were the classic calculator one-offs. Where you could type the number 07734 and it would read "hELLO" upside down. Pretty lame stuff, and I'm not sure you can even do that on a calculator these days, if kids even use calculators or if they just punch everything into a smart device that doesn't have as much verbal efficiency with the numbers.
There's also the text that was made popular by Dan Brown in Angels & Demons. The Illuminati. That word, along with air, earth, wind, and fire were all written in ambigram form so that when turned 180 degrees it looked and read exactly the same as the original orientation. Pretty clever stuff that actually was the brainchild of the (real) artist John Langdon. And who is the inspiration for the fictional character Robert Langdon in Brown's novels, in name at least. I skimmed a book once called Word Play that actually goes into a lot John Langdon's work, his methods, and illustrates tons of other great examples that he has developed over the years. An interesting fact about his work, too, is that when he gets close to finalizing a piece, he only works on half of the message. A slick, and tremendously efficient, approach since then all he needs to do is copy and flip it to complete the work.
Walking thru the park the other day, I noticed another plain symbol that, if rotated 90-degrees transforms from a trespassing directive into a welcoming gesture. The hand, alone, is a ready stand-in for plenty of signals, including peace, living long (and prospering), and affirmation of a good job. It is also effective at the aforementioned "fuck yourself".
But an extended open hand also represents a gracious open mind. One that is willing to look at issues from a different light and different perspective. Or at least to appreciate and reciprocate the offering of accord. A message, perhaps, more of our crossroads should reaffirm.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Secret Admirer
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought I'd share just a couple of the sweet delights in this world that I secretly admire. Of course, this is in the hopes that they'll get my message, not be turned off by my creepiness, and in turn feel compelled to return the admiration through any physical, monetary, or downright kinky awards and favors.
1. Big Companies Who Advertise (boldly) Their Privacy Policies. Google is the latest giant that now takes every opportunity to post a little bubble in my blog and search pages with a simple message about "our privacy policy has changed - this stuff matters". As if I don't know that. But we both secretly know that you don't respect my privacy at all, since how would you build a commercial empire without it? Perhaps you don't care that I ate Chef Boyardee last week - oh wait! You do care! As does the local Safeway that swipes my personal ID, I mean Perks, Card to ensure I get the best value at the counter and effective advertisements at my door. You know, I don't think it is even called a "Perks" card. That's a fading remnant from the times when supermarkets had to tout their data-mining cards as "Advanatge"-ous. Nah, now they just say "Card". Anyway, to all the card promoters, supermarket and credit variety, I love your BOLD privacy policies. They really just make me feel that I am totally in control (and responsible) for ensuring my privacy. Much like how an investment firm sends thousands of pages of prospectuses to keep me informed and active in managing every dollar of my funds at all times. I really do feel empowered. And this fit of strength just has me rolling over in joy for your heartfelt poems of self. All the fine print and all.
2. Feel Good Slogans With Double, Triple, or 200 Meanings. You know what I'm stalking about. All the cute catch phrases that advertisers tack onto a product or service. "Happiness. In Store.", "Life Good", "Good. Clean. Fun.". It's bad enough that I can't wrap my head around the multiple meanings of what my girlfriend says, but these make it SO MUCH EASIER to grasp 2 or more distinctly positive meanings and to strongly associate their eloquent beauty with a particular franchise. If only my girlfriend would say "Piss. Off." then we could more efficiently convey the range of emotions and instructions directed at me, her primary customer.
3. The word "Rant". Face it, "rant" normally gets a bad rap. Nobody respects a "rant". Connotation-wise, it is associated with an irritable old grump or an exceptionally fired-up bitch. Phonetically, it rhymes with negative words such as can't, pant, and shant. Conjunction-wise, it would be what you'd get if you crossed a rat with an ant, and nobody cuddles with those creatures. But I like the word. I might not like all that other crap that it associated with, but the word is concise and clearly effective at conveying the message. And like the saying goes, don't shoot the messenger. But feel free to shoot the panting bitches who just saw a rat.
Man, this is what I get for flipping through "I Drink For A Reason" right before jumping into a post. A great book, but easy to get caught up later Writing Under the Influence.
1. Big Companies Who Advertise (boldly) Their Privacy Policies. Google is the latest giant that now takes every opportunity to post a little bubble in my blog and search pages with a simple message about "our privacy policy has changed - this stuff matters". As if I don't know that. But we both secretly know that you don't respect my privacy at all, since how would you build a commercial empire without it? Perhaps you don't care that I ate Chef Boyardee last week - oh wait! You do care! As does the local Safeway that swipes my personal ID, I mean Perks, Card to ensure I get the best value at the counter and effective advertisements at my door. You know, I don't think it is even called a "Perks" card. That's a fading remnant from the times when supermarkets had to tout their data-mining cards as "Advanatge"-ous. Nah, now they just say "Card". Anyway, to all the card promoters, supermarket and credit variety, I love your BOLD privacy policies. They really just make me feel that I am totally in control (and responsible) for ensuring my privacy. Much like how an investment firm sends thousands of pages of prospectuses to keep me informed and active in managing every dollar of my funds at all times. I really do feel empowered. And this fit of strength just has me rolling over in joy for your heartfelt poems of self. All the fine print and all.
2. Feel Good Slogans With Double, Triple, or 200 Meanings. You know what I'm stalking about. All the cute catch phrases that advertisers tack onto a product or service. "Happiness. In Store.", "Life Good", "Good. Clean. Fun.". It's bad enough that I can't wrap my head around the multiple meanings of what my girlfriend says, but these make it SO MUCH EASIER to grasp 2 or more distinctly positive meanings and to strongly associate their eloquent beauty with a particular franchise. If only my girlfriend would say "Piss. Off." then we could more efficiently convey the range of emotions and instructions directed at me, her primary customer.
3. The word "Rant". Face it, "rant" normally gets a bad rap. Nobody respects a "rant". Connotation-wise, it is associated with an irritable old grump or an exceptionally fired-up bitch. Phonetically, it rhymes with negative words such as can't, pant, and shant. Conjunction-wise, it would be what you'd get if you crossed a rat with an ant, and nobody cuddles with those creatures. But I like the word. I might not like all that other crap that it associated with, but the word is concise and clearly effective at conveying the message. And like the saying goes, don't shoot the messenger. But feel free to shoot the panting bitches who just saw a rat.
Man, this is what I get for flipping through "I Drink For A Reason" right before jumping into a post. A great book, but easy to get caught up later Writing Under the Influence.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Candles
Candles are great. Far outweighed by their electric counterparts in the light department, they have never quite been exterminated from culture, and thankfully so. I can imagine pre-modern era authors scribing their tales on old bureaus with nothing more than some natural moonlight and candlelight illuminating the pages. Drawing inspiration from the flames, hardly imagining a world where the light source would eventually transform into an object of infrequent yet far more celebrated use. Abandoning utility for art and special occasions, and offering more in their extinguishment and scents than a simple sustaining glow.
I recall a biography of Thomas Edison where they touched on the hundreds, possibly thousands, of attempts he made at perfecting the light bulb. Trying to simulate the warm spectrum of radiation that evolves from a burning flame. This, I suppose, stems from a human need to stay in touch with nature, and likely a strong innate attachment that man developed ever since he discovered that he could harness fire. The biography went on to explain, in scientific terms, how Edison successfully achieved his goals. And further, how over a hundred years later, attempts at refining the basic bulb for the sake of electrical efficiency have sacrificed this accomplishment. Yet, we keep trying, and light connoisseurs, like their vino brethren, know a fake when they see it.
Nowadays most candle duties include your standard, short-use birthday celebrations and any of the Yankee offerings that more than often seem to sit like a discarded ball waiting for some kid to come along and play with it. I'm sure there are some folks (females) who get more use out of the latter than it would first appear, but given their bulk, bright corresponding colors, and oft unusual odors, they tend to sit around on shelves indefinitely. Out of order, it would appear.
Candles can also make some grand entrances when it comes to romantic displays, church services, and annual holiday vigils. One vigil, in particular, even (ironically) lodges the wax in house of gourd, flickering through the imperfect cutouts of triangular eyes, a square nose, and a jigsaw mouth. A subtle example, perhaps, that it is not so much what you can see by the faint light, but what you can't see that should scare you. In which case, perhaps a larger monster face could actually be more comforting.
But aside form the irregular and special occasions that welcome candles, how many uses, other than severe blackouts, welcome their faint light for comforting inspiration? To stand alongside a favorite reading chair, or on a desk next to a tablet, traditional or electronic, when scribing a tale? The world seems to try so hard to obtain natural spring water, pure composted earth, and emissions-free air, but who anymore looks at their light source and thinks "I would rather go with a natural, flickering flame"? That perhaps I can be more at peace or at least more in touch with my natural self by going with fire over electric light? Not many, I believe, since now our light is crystallized into mesmerizing displays of non-stop action and coupled with sound.
For at least tonight, this post was crafted next to a burning flame. Although it appears well overshadowed by the backlit monitor at which I am staring. A sign of the times, literally, and a reminder from where many true comforts originate.
I recall a biography of Thomas Edison where they touched on the hundreds, possibly thousands, of attempts he made at perfecting the light bulb. Trying to simulate the warm spectrum of radiation that evolves from a burning flame. This, I suppose, stems from a human need to stay in touch with nature, and likely a strong innate attachment that man developed ever since he discovered that he could harness fire. The biography went on to explain, in scientific terms, how Edison successfully achieved his goals. And further, how over a hundred years later, attempts at refining the basic bulb for the sake of electrical efficiency have sacrificed this accomplishment. Yet, we keep trying, and light connoisseurs, like their vino brethren, know a fake when they see it.
Nowadays most candle duties include your standard, short-use birthday celebrations and any of the Yankee offerings that more than often seem to sit like a discarded ball waiting for some kid to come along and play with it. I'm sure there are some folks (females) who get more use out of the latter than it would first appear, but given their bulk, bright corresponding colors, and oft unusual odors, they tend to sit around on shelves indefinitely. Out of order, it would appear.
Candles can also make some grand entrances when it comes to romantic displays, church services, and annual holiday vigils. One vigil, in particular, even (ironically) lodges the wax in house of gourd, flickering through the imperfect cutouts of triangular eyes, a square nose, and a jigsaw mouth. A subtle example, perhaps, that it is not so much what you can see by the faint light, but what you can't see that should scare you. In which case, perhaps a larger monster face could actually be more comforting.
But aside form the irregular and special occasions that welcome candles, how many uses, other than severe blackouts, welcome their faint light for comforting inspiration? To stand alongside a favorite reading chair, or on a desk next to a tablet, traditional or electronic, when scribing a tale? The world seems to try so hard to obtain natural spring water, pure composted earth, and emissions-free air, but who anymore looks at their light source and thinks "I would rather go with a natural, flickering flame"? That perhaps I can be more at peace or at least more in touch with my natural self by going with fire over electric light? Not many, I believe, since now our light is crystallized into mesmerizing displays of non-stop action and coupled with sound.
For at least tonight, this post was crafted next to a burning flame. Although it appears well overshadowed by the backlit monitor at which I am staring. A sign of the times, literally, and a reminder from where many true comforts originate.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
5+ Certified Job Hunting Tips for Professionals
In true psychology form, my disdain for the evolving Job Hunting process (see previous gripes here) has made for a strong contrasting backdrop to the fulfillment of actually getting a couple interviews and even an offer. But the adventurous tale is hardly one of fate, but more of adaptability and willingness to take cues and advice at a greater frequency than most life situations require.
Sparing the details, and with no energy to help change the process, I will share some personal lessons and (possibly?) best practices...
1. The resume is not set in stone. Recruiters will tell you this out the bung-hole, but it's true. Every job is a little bit different. I don't necessarily tailor the resume for every job, not like crafting a unique cover letter, but I try to keep a few variations depending on the general type of work. And don't be afraid to cut parts out wholesale in some versions. Words can work for you but too many of the insignificant words could drown out the messages you really want read.
2. Keep organized and don't label your files "Resume_[company name]". I create folders for each company and store the resume for that company as "Resume_[my last name]". I usually don't even put the year or anything else that would signify draft. That way it's not as obvious that I could be adjusting my credentials just to please them. Plus on their end, I expect they would want to track all of the incoming files by applicant. Perhaps this is a minor detail, but if they have multiple files in one location and only a few are well-labeled for their purposes, having your name stick out can't hurt.
3. When it comes to previous salary talk, just stick with "I'm flexible depending on the requirements..." or something like that. I actually picked that up from a recruiter and he said applicants are always falling into the trap of saying "Well, I can accept less", perhaps out of the desperation that they are in. Play it cool until a number rolls in, then start negotiating (if you got a good poker face, that is).
4. Oct-Dec is the worst time of year to look for a job. Again, a fact shared to me by another recruiter. Although it was oddly unsupported by her circumstances having just started her job in those months. Still, if there are prime seasons for catching crabs or starting up MLB training then it makes sense that there could be a good season for job hunting. And in that case, definitely not Oct-Dec (exceptions acknowledged). Jan-Feb might actually be the best for professionals since that's when lots of salaried folks jump ship, right after collecting their new year's vacation.
5. Money talks and bullshit walks. Seriously. It wasn't until the last couple months that I realized that I failed to capture the significance of my projects by overall dollar amounts. Instead I was using the word "significant". If you worked on stuff that can be summarized as "hundred thousand" or "quarter million dollar" or more, even if you just played a small role on the project, through it in. Even managing a "million-dollar store" or working for a "million dollar company". Dollar adjectives are gold. As are just using -illions. Look at McDonalds. How many people have they served?
That's about it for lessons/practices, except for a personal habit that I'm not sure professional folks would advise. I usually through in a casual ice breaker hobby or accomplishment at the very end of the resume, just to lighten it up a bit. Honest ones, though. Like "Employee of the Month" or "Best Dressed".
Perhaps it's rooted, again, back in the old psychological contrast principle, possibly helping to distinguish the serious accomplishments against a mundane one. Or it might just be a way of keeping it real. Either way, it hasn't completely worked against me, so you be the judge.
Sparing the details, and with no energy to help change the process, I will share some personal lessons and (possibly?) best practices...
1. The resume is not set in stone. Recruiters will tell you this out the bung-hole, but it's true. Every job is a little bit different. I don't necessarily tailor the resume for every job, not like crafting a unique cover letter, but I try to keep a few variations depending on the general type of work. And don't be afraid to cut parts out wholesale in some versions. Words can work for you but too many of the insignificant words could drown out the messages you really want read.
2. Keep organized and don't label your files "Resume_[company name]". I create folders for each company and store the resume for that company as "Resume_[my last name]". I usually don't even put the year or anything else that would signify draft. That way it's not as obvious that I could be adjusting my credentials just to please them. Plus on their end, I expect they would want to track all of the incoming files by applicant. Perhaps this is a minor detail, but if they have multiple files in one location and only a few are well-labeled for their purposes, having your name stick out can't hurt.
3. When it comes to previous salary talk, just stick with "I'm flexible depending on the requirements..." or something like that. I actually picked that up from a recruiter and he said applicants are always falling into the trap of saying "Well, I can accept less", perhaps out of the desperation that they are in. Play it cool until a number rolls in, then start negotiating (if you got a good poker face, that is).
4. Oct-Dec is the worst time of year to look for a job. Again, a fact shared to me by another recruiter. Although it was oddly unsupported by her circumstances having just started her job in those months. Still, if there are prime seasons for catching crabs or starting up MLB training then it makes sense that there could be a good season for job hunting. And in that case, definitely not Oct-Dec (exceptions acknowledged). Jan-Feb might actually be the best for professionals since that's when lots of salaried folks jump ship, right after collecting their new year's vacation.
5. Money talks and bullshit walks. Seriously. It wasn't until the last couple months that I realized that I failed to capture the significance of my projects by overall dollar amounts. Instead I was using the word "significant". If you worked on stuff that can be summarized as "hundred thousand" or "quarter million dollar" or more, even if you just played a small role on the project, through it in. Even managing a "million-dollar store" or working for a "million dollar company". Dollar adjectives are gold. As are just using -illions. Look at McDonalds. How many people have they served?
That's about it for lessons/practices, except for a personal habit that I'm not sure professional folks would advise. I usually through in a casual ice breaker hobby or accomplishment at the very end of the resume, just to lighten it up a bit. Honest ones, though. Like "Employee of the Month" or "Best Dressed".
Perhaps it's rooted, again, back in the old psychological contrast principle, possibly helping to distinguish the serious accomplishments against a mundane one. Or it might just be a way of keeping it real. Either way, it hasn't completely worked against me, so you be the judge.
Monday, February 6, 2012
More Than 60 Minutes
Wrapping up another compelling season of NFL this year was the Super Bowl last night. A couple weeks ago the commissioner, Roger Goodell, expressed to 60 Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft, that the intent of the league is to entertain the fans. He said, specifically, "We want them to say 'That was the greatest entertainment I've ever seen.' " And last night, as long as you're not a Patriots fans, you can probably agree.
However, the game is more than just 60 minutes of regulation entertainment. While none of the XLVI showdowns has ever gone into overtime, each has gradually, over decades, consumed more than an hour of the regular viewer's precious Sunday schedule. Kickoff to Hail Mary, last night's game ran about 3 hours 30 minutes (my last check was about 10:00 PM when the game wrapped up, tough to confirm this detail). Not excessively longer than a regular season game which comes in around 3 hours. But the biggest difference may not be in overall game length or even number of viewers glued to their sets during that time. The biggest difference may be the expansive viewership of ancillary programs, the two-weeks of pregame hype and couple days of post-game wrap up programs that come with it. Not to mention all of the other entertaining media (newspapers, magazine, internet) participating in the consumer feeding frenzy.
Listening to XM the other day, I heard the Brit Richard Blade explain that, for listening pleasure, the Super Bowl was going to be broadcast on at least 8 stations with different commentators depending on team preference, nationality, etc. Last week, I see Al Roker flying down a temporary zip line outside Lucas Oil Stadium as he generically forecasted the sunshine in my neck of the woods. And today I get Charlie Rose remembering when he was naive enough to think Madonna really was a virgin (he still does). The impact is everywhere, as is the residual entertainment value.
If anything, it's nice to see that for once, fittingly at the end of the season, the NFL allows 60 Minutes to broadcast at it's regularly scheduled time slot. Airing on a different network than the Manning-Brady duel, 60 Minutes aired a repeat of an Anna Wintour interview. Who? I don't know. But somebody watched since there's the littlest of mention of it on the internet today. Makes you appreciate the small but beneficial effect of the show in the recurring ticking clock, constantly reminding the viewer how much time was left in the show, or conversely how time a viewer still had to commit. Contrary to it's competition last night, the 60 Minutes clock has the viewer's schedule in mind. But in the entertainment business, as can be seen, it seems that it can be much grander and profitable to keep the viewer's schedule open-ended.
However, the game is more than just 60 minutes of regulation entertainment. While none of the XLVI showdowns has ever gone into overtime, each has gradually, over decades, consumed more than an hour of the regular viewer's precious Sunday schedule. Kickoff to Hail Mary, last night's game ran about 3 hours 30 minutes (my last check was about 10:00 PM when the game wrapped up, tough to confirm this detail). Not excessively longer than a regular season game which comes in around 3 hours. But the biggest difference may not be in overall game length or even number of viewers glued to their sets during that time. The biggest difference may be the expansive viewership of ancillary programs, the two-weeks of pregame hype and couple days of post-game wrap up programs that come with it. Not to mention all of the other entertaining media (newspapers, magazine, internet) participating in the consumer feeding frenzy.
Listening to XM the other day, I heard the Brit Richard Blade explain that, for listening pleasure, the Super Bowl was going to be broadcast on at least 8 stations with different commentators depending on team preference, nationality, etc. Last week, I see Al Roker flying down a temporary zip line outside Lucas Oil Stadium as he generically forecasted the sunshine in my neck of the woods. And today I get Charlie Rose remembering when he was naive enough to think Madonna really was a virgin (he still does). The impact is everywhere, as is the residual entertainment value.
If anything, it's nice to see that for once, fittingly at the end of the season, the NFL allows 60 Minutes to broadcast at it's regularly scheduled time slot. Airing on a different network than the Manning-Brady duel, 60 Minutes aired a repeat of an Anna Wintour interview. Who? I don't know. But somebody watched since there's the littlest of mention of it on the internet today. Makes you appreciate the small but beneficial effect of the show in the recurring ticking clock, constantly reminding the viewer how much time was left in the show, or conversely how time a viewer still had to commit. Contrary to it's competition last night, the 60 Minutes clock has the viewer's schedule in mind. But in the entertainment business, as can be seen, it seems that it can be much grander and profitable to keep the viewer's schedule open-ended.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Profane Arguments
If there is anything I disrespect the most in an argument it is the intimidation tactic of citing a Biblical passage. A figurative display of looking bigger to a predator, to me, it immediately registers a signal of weakness, subversive intellect, and lack of originality.
Profane in it's reference, not in it's words.
First off, the citation is generally only made, but no actual interpretation is made on behalf of the user. For instance, "blah blah blah..." James 2:14-17. It is spoken as if there is no possibility for refutation. The same bold tone that usually accompanies proselytism but minus the responsible, still debatable, explanation of the latter. I wonder if this is done because the citing individual has no real interpretation, only the ones previously handed down to them. It's no wonder since you can find Bible quotes on just about any subject simply by typing "Bible quote about coffee" into a search engine.
Secondly, why introduce a highly controversial subject like religion into a non-religious debate? I am actually guilty of this tactic myself in previous arguments and I have since realized the powerful un-intentional consequences this can have on the primary discussion, notwithstanding personal judgments. However, when used intentionally, the recipient's reaction is artificially inflated. Borrowing from the power and influence of a religious doctrine, the user intends to morph their position into gospel. Or to make it irrefutable. Citing the most popular text in the world as the final authority and ultimate reference for man to live by. But it is that very attempt at holiness that simply opens the door wider for counter-arguments. Much like aligning yourself with a political party, when you take a side for power, you automatically establish a large and powerful opponent. In this case, the opponent could be anybody that does not share your religious beliefs. In addition to the folks that do but do not share your argument.
Thirdly, why not cite another religious doctrine? Or the Dali Lama? Or Aesop's fables? There are plenty of other alternative sources for morality lessons, and these would demonstrate some interest in other viewpoints. Or at least help to illustrate your capacity for embracing lessons that are not always dictated from the most common global source.
Lastly, there is a strong chance that if a) you are simply posing as an intellectual and b) you are playing with religious fire then c) you likely possess no more humility than a self-righteous deity and your openness to thoughtful debate is probably zero. In which case, I might actually experience a more fruitful conversation by talking directly to the sky.
A powerful impression, and unfortunate since I might actually agree with what you're saying.
Profane in it's reference, not in it's words.
First off, the citation is generally only made, but no actual interpretation is made on behalf of the user. For instance, "blah blah blah..." James 2:14-17. It is spoken as if there is no possibility for refutation. The same bold tone that usually accompanies proselytism but minus the responsible, still debatable, explanation of the latter. I wonder if this is done because the citing individual has no real interpretation, only the ones previously handed down to them. It's no wonder since you can find Bible quotes on just about any subject simply by typing "Bible quote about coffee" into a search engine.
Secondly, why introduce a highly controversial subject like religion into a non-religious debate? I am actually guilty of this tactic myself in previous arguments and I have since realized the powerful un-intentional consequences this can have on the primary discussion, notwithstanding personal judgments. However, when used intentionally, the recipient's reaction is artificially inflated. Borrowing from the power and influence of a religious doctrine, the user intends to morph their position into gospel. Or to make it irrefutable. Citing the most popular text in the world as the final authority and ultimate reference for man to live by. But it is that very attempt at holiness that simply opens the door wider for counter-arguments. Much like aligning yourself with a political party, when you take a side for power, you automatically establish a large and powerful opponent. In this case, the opponent could be anybody that does not share your religious beliefs. In addition to the folks that do but do not share your argument.
Thirdly, why not cite another religious doctrine? Or the Dali Lama? Or Aesop's fables? There are plenty of other alternative sources for morality lessons, and these would demonstrate some interest in other viewpoints. Or at least help to illustrate your capacity for embracing lessons that are not always dictated from the most common global source.
Lastly, there is a strong chance that if a) you are simply posing as an intellectual and b) you are playing with religious fire then c) you likely possess no more humility than a self-righteous deity and your openness to thoughtful debate is probably zero. In which case, I might actually experience a more fruitful conversation by talking directly to the sky.
A powerful impression, and unfortunate since I might actually agree with what you're saying.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Supermarket Sweep
Growing up in a modest single family house in the late 1980's and early 90's, my sister and I were limited in our television viewing capacity moreso than the normal 8:30 PM bedtime curfew that was imposed. There was an additional physical limitation in the form of one television for us to share. It might have also been the only TV in the house for a while, or if there was another one (in my parent's room) I doubt it too was enabled with extremely basic cable. But basic cable was a treat, having mostly only been exposed to the antenna-equipped set in our younger years. Cable brought Disney, Nickelodeon, and, unfortunately, Lifetime. But back then Lifetime wasn't just sappy "Rob Lowe as a a murderous, seductive, cop killer" films. It also included game shows. And back then, one thing a family could definitely rally around was mindless competition in a supermarket. Everyone goes to a supermarket, everyone knows what's there and generally how much stuff costs, but nobody ever gets a chance to race buggies around and throw turkeys 20 ft into them. Supermarket Sweep gave everybody a chance to live that fantasy as well as watch the ridiculous people who occasionally lacked both commons sense and physical prowess. So a chance to feel good about yourself in a sort of pre-reality show sort of way.
I often wondered if anything in the show was real. Were real turkeys actually being tossed into carts? Was real coffee really being ground for no good reason except only to race? If so, did anybody feel a little bit bad about wasting 40 carts of groceries per show (estimated average) for the sake of entertainment? It's one thing to say we can part ways with the dollar value of the food, but to throw away nourishment "when kids in Africa are starving" is tougher to accept. It's almost like how animals are not allowed to be killed for the sake of entertainment, or when only fake flounder can be displayed in fictional shows/films depicting Pike's Place Market. Perhaps only a small amount of perishable foods was being wasted? Maybe the dented cans of soup were restocked for the next tournament. Or maybe they made the winners take it all home, beaten, spoiled, worthless produce and all.
Everyone who watched had their own strategy. That was part of the intrigue. Knowing what items cost the most and then collecting your maximum 5 as quickly as possible without breaking your back or wrecking the cart into Pepsi cubes. I always thought I would head straight to the medicine aisle. I could load up a cart with Benadryl and condoms and still have room for pistachios one aisle over. But I don't think medicine was available in their fictionalized market, an omission that calls into question the self-described "super" aspect. I would also run straight to the spice aisle. The weak yet time-efficient stud that I was, loading on 5 of every ginger, tumeric, and thyme offering would spare me the pain of earning the per pound value of every meat product stuffed into my basket. But yet, that seemed to be where every contestant wound up. Almost as is the things most valued now in a supermarket were not so much back then. Back then, it was all about meat. And perhaps that is just one argument for the intellectual dominance of Mr. Bob Evans and Jimmy Dean. Not to mention Uncle Charlie. Those guys had business sense, along with great taste.
I miss those days. I miss those shows. I'm sure I can pull one or two up on YouTube and then quickly realize that I didn't miss it that much after all. But like any fantasy, the fun is in reliving it, not in actually living it.
I often wondered if anything in the show was real. Were real turkeys actually being tossed into carts? Was real coffee really being ground for no good reason except only to race? If so, did anybody feel a little bit bad about wasting 40 carts of groceries per show (estimated average) for the sake of entertainment? It's one thing to say we can part ways with the dollar value of the food, but to throw away nourishment "when kids in Africa are starving" is tougher to accept. It's almost like how animals are not allowed to be killed for the sake of entertainment, or when only fake flounder can be displayed in fictional shows/films depicting Pike's Place Market. Perhaps only a small amount of perishable foods was being wasted? Maybe the dented cans of soup were restocked for the next tournament. Or maybe they made the winners take it all home, beaten, spoiled, worthless produce and all.
Everyone who watched had their own strategy. That was part of the intrigue. Knowing what items cost the most and then collecting your maximum 5 as quickly as possible without breaking your back or wrecking the cart into Pepsi cubes. I always thought I would head straight to the medicine aisle. I could load up a cart with Benadryl and condoms and still have room for pistachios one aisle over. But I don't think medicine was available in their fictionalized market, an omission that calls into question the self-described "super" aspect. I would also run straight to the spice aisle. The weak yet time-efficient stud that I was, loading on 5 of every ginger, tumeric, and thyme offering would spare me the pain of earning the per pound value of every meat product stuffed into my basket. But yet, that seemed to be where every contestant wound up. Almost as is the things most valued now in a supermarket were not so much back then. Back then, it was all about meat. And perhaps that is just one argument for the intellectual dominance of Mr. Bob Evans and Jimmy Dean. Not to mention Uncle Charlie. Those guys had business sense, along with great taste.
I miss those days. I miss those shows. I'm sure I can pull one or two up on YouTube and then quickly realize that I didn't miss it that much after all. But like any fantasy, the fun is in reliving it, not in actually living it.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Havre De Grace
Just the other day I had the pleasure of making a pit stop in in the little town of Havre de Grace. Situated at the mouth of the Susquehanna River in Maryland, the little historic town of 13,577 was a former stop on the "Underground Railroad!", according to the Fingertip Facts I picked up at the visitor's center. But that's hardly the city's claim to fame.
In the late 1700's, the young town quickly expanded from a meek 7 houses to 40 houses in a 15 year span. This, coupled with it's prime location just about an hour from Baltimore, made it an excellent candidate for the Capital of the United States (according to another hand-typed fact sheet with a header typed in A-Team military font, so rather official, if not accurate). But with a close vote in 1789, a tie that was actually broken by the vote of the Speaker of the House, Havre de Grace lost it's bid for the U.S. Capital to Washington, D.C. A devastating loss, one would initially conclude, but one that would pave the way for another proud American center.
Suzie, a pleasant grandmotherly volunteer at the visitor's center, skipped most of this back story in her helpful and proud description of her town. But she made sure that I knew what it was famous for. Havre de Grace is the "Decoy Capital of the World". Or so they claim, but who would dispute it? She explained her 2-part reasoning: existence of a Decoy Museum + an annual festival that draws several skilled artisans. My confused reaction, however, was why so much time and expense was put into crafting little fake ducks that would later become target practice. But I soon found out that the hunting aspect became prohibited, in part due to Uncle Sam / Uncle MD regulations. This thankfully preserved the artistic investment, and set the stage for the hand-carved models to be become revered for their ability to attract humans rather than live ducks (as successful as that purpose has become).
I collected up some additional reading material and, once safely at home, noticed even more amazing decoys in the town. There is a lawn service that carves frolicking dogs out of your bushes. This must be to either ward off foxes or to thumb a nose at Mr. Scissorhands. There is also a puppet show with a convincing humanoid at it's center. This must be to attract real people to the show rather than just other puppets. Check them out below.
While it's a shame that Havre de Grace lost the chance at Capitalizing as the US headquarters, they have certainly seized the opportunity to instead lead the world in what must be a dying art. And while the bullets may now be blanks, the proud American dominance is real. And nobody messes with a rogue, elite group of American bad asses. Whether the A or De Team.
In the late 1700's, the young town quickly expanded from a meek 7 houses to 40 houses in a 15 year span. This, coupled with it's prime location just about an hour from Baltimore, made it an excellent candidate for the Capital of the United States (according to another hand-typed fact sheet with a header typed in A-Team military font, so rather official, if not accurate). But with a close vote in 1789, a tie that was actually broken by the vote of the Speaker of the House, Havre de Grace lost it's bid for the U.S. Capital to Washington, D.C. A devastating loss, one would initially conclude, but one that would pave the way for another proud American center.
Suzie, a pleasant grandmotherly volunteer at the visitor's center, skipped most of this back story in her helpful and proud description of her town. But she made sure that I knew what it was famous for. Havre de Grace is the "Decoy Capital of the World". Or so they claim, but who would dispute it? She explained her 2-part reasoning: existence of a Decoy Museum + an annual festival that draws several skilled artisans. My confused reaction, however, was why so much time and expense was put into crafting little fake ducks that would later become target practice. But I soon found out that the hunting aspect became prohibited, in part due to Uncle Sam / Uncle MD regulations. This thankfully preserved the artistic investment, and set the stage for the hand-carved models to be become revered for their ability to attract humans rather than live ducks (as successful as that purpose has become).
I collected up some additional reading material and, once safely at home, noticed even more amazing decoys in the town. There is a lawn service that carves frolicking dogs out of your bushes. This must be to either ward off foxes or to thumb a nose at Mr. Scissorhands. There is also a puppet show with a convincing humanoid at it's center. This must be to attract real people to the show rather than just other puppets. Check them out below.
While it's a shame that Havre de Grace lost the chance at Capitalizing as the US headquarters, they have certainly seized the opportunity to instead lead the world in what must be a dying art. And while the bullets may now be blanks, the proud American dominance is real. And nobody messes with a rogue, elite group of American bad asses. Whether the A or De Team.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Be Prepared
You have to wonder what the intent is of someone who tells you “expect the unexpected”. What, exactly, does that mean? I grew up a Cub Scout and in that reputable organization they had a similar saying of “Be Prepared”. Something that requires less brainpower to contemplate and which can be readily transferrable to rational, real-world actions. As in “be prepared for snow” or “be prepared for margaritas”, either call-to-action resulting in an increased supply of Morton’s.
“Be prepared” recurs as a positive message throughout most children’s programs and fables (Aesop’s are the only brand I’m familiar with). One story goes about the encounter of an ant and a grasshopper in advance of winter. The ant is busy collecting and saving food for the winter ahead while the grasshopper is not, despite the ant’s advising. Come winter, the ant is well-prepared for the frozen season while the grasshopper is not, therefore he suffers. The grasshopper eventually realizes his mistake, and his lesson in preparedness quickly becomes ours to share, minus the consequences.
But what lesson can be taught of “expect the unexpected”? If this was applied to the ant and grasshopper fable, what non sequitur turn of events would take shape? Would a second ant appear and start collecting a tax on all savings? Would the grasshopper start bullying the ant for food? Or would a giant human walking by accidentally crush them both and end them mid-story? Either way, once applied, the event is thereby “expected” and a new lesson interpreted. And, in these examples perhaps, the lesson being “that the only certainties in life are death and taxes”. With the consequential revision to the proverb now “expect a tax-free afterlife”.
No, it seems that there is no appropriate context for the message to be delivered or any logical interpretation to be gained therefrom. It ultimately boils down to a philosophical mind trap where you can continually try to think of what might happen, then immediately cross it off the list because you thought of it. Or a way to beat yourself up after something unexpected happened because you couldn’t have possibly predicted it would happen, and even if you did there wasn’t much you could do about it. You are, as it is stated, only supposed to tailor your expectations accordingly, not actually do anything about them.
Nah, I will just stick with the mantra that was programmed well into my developmental bear brain. The one that makes sense, short on negatives, and is fable-ready. Would you expect anything else?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Kick Me
Who uses a “Kick Me” prank?? And does it work? I really am curious. It seems like the stereotypic prank, yet I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used in person, and if I had then it was either unobliged (i.e. nobody actually kicked the loser) or short-lived, the first person that did fessed up like a momma’s boy and the prank was over.
What is the evolution of this classic prank? Innovation uses a light bulb as a symbol. Pranks use a “kick me” note taped to the back of an unsuspecting victim. Which, luckily nowadays, tape is even removed from the equation since a Post-It can be used. Bright, eye-catching, trademarked canary yellow and all. Further proof of it’s simplistic prankster ingenuity.
Perhaps the joke is not in actually kicking the person but in establishing the lack of observation + unusual fetish of a prey. In which case, perhaps “I like really tight ropes” or “Just For Men” aptly situated just above the hind area would be more adventurous. These would also serve better in assuring the prankee, upon discovery of the note, of their general submissive and demeaning role in all things social.
What if the note said “Love Me”? What would people’s reactions be? Would they stare questionably as if “Did this guy seriously put this note on his own shirt and stroll nonchalantly through our bridal party as if he had no clue?? I feel oddly sympathetic and attracted to him, and, and, and maybe I could actually Lov… “[ END SCENE]
I can think of one instance where verbatim compliance with the directive would have come in handy recently. If Billy Cundiff could have squared up against a pigskin donning a “Kick Me Straight” label in a playoff game then perhaps Baltimore would still be kicking more balls in Indy this weekend. But as it was, the label must have fallen off or have been altered to “Hang Your Head in Disgrace”.
I don't usually follow blind directives like a handwritten note taped to someone's back. However, if it said "Student Walker" or "Didn't Bathe", my aversive reaction would probably match the intended response. I do generally follow slightly higher quality directives, although still randomly targeted. Like fortunes in a fortune cookie. Or The Valentine's Day candy hearts that say Hug Me, or something cheesy like that. Perhaps it's not that the message is delivered in an unusual way, but that it is typed. That tells me someone gave more than an initial thought to the message, proofread it for accuracy, then committed to printing it on a worthy medium. In which case, the validity is already halfway established, even it is about to be eaten.
I wonder what they do in the school for the blind? What is their equivalent of a Kick Me note? Does it still say Kick Me but in Braille? And do they just walk right up and paste it on the front of somebody? Seems like it may be a tad more cruel than just pasting it on a non physically-handicapped person, but they have to joke around somehow. Plus according to Mr. Quaid's acknowledgment in National Lampoon'S Christmas Vacation, when administered by a mule to the head, it can actually cure blindness. So perhaps the roots of the directive are in faith and miracles, in which case it is not so much a prank but a pathway to peace. And a trip to the Super Bowl.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tolling
Anybody else not a complete fan of E-Z Pass? The RFD tags Velcro-ed under your windshield or on your bumper. The technology is great, allowing you to speed through turnpike interchanges 40 mph faster than the posted 15 mph limit (the human safety limit, not a technological one). It also saves you from combing through the change bin for $2.00 in quarters and pennies. Remember those days? But as simple as it is to whiz right on by the checkout line it is equally easy to ring up a huge bill without you fully knowing until it arrives in the mail. Or worse yet never really knowing if your account auto-replenishes (convenient feature offered in some states) and you just see irregular charges on your credit statement every few months. "Guess I drove $35 worth on the turnpikes this month", but in reality you have no idea when and where the tolls were incurred unless you diligently monitor your account and statements. And then check them.
There is value in actually getting a ticket and stopping and paying a toll in person. Whether by cash or credit, the exchange requires understanding of the fee and a determination of whether or not it was reasonable (not that you can opt out at that point but if it was $20 instead of $2 then you could alter your route differently next time). When the system is completely automated and occurs without notice of the fee, then this evaluation gets deferred and more than likely forgotten. Today, for instance, I had the luxury of driving most of the new ICC, intergalactic connector MD-200, or a quick and quiet bypass around the worst highway on the east coast: I-495 around DC. On approach, I noticed one sign before I entered onto the controversial course indicating a fee of $0.55. But it was fast and I wasn't sure if this was a flat rate, or a recurring charge, or a suggested donation. But as I continued onto the highway, I noticed something peculiar every couple miles. Tolls were being collected. Over and over again. I couldn't be sure since there was no explicit sign near any of the toll stations, plus there was no physical station, just E-Z pass like structures that you fly under in an instant and know that you've paid something.
I continued to wonder "How much am I paying for this joy ride?". And I never got my answer. I simply reached the end of the road and continued on a toll-free MD highway. This experience is not unique to the ICC 200. On most turnpikes throughout OH-PA-MD-NY-DE-NJ, I find that the tolls are not generally listed anywhere. In part because there are different on and off ramps for entry and tolling is adjusted accordingly. As one can still usually confirm by getting an old-fashioned ticket with the rates printed daily. But when you roll through the gate, you normally get a thumbs up in the form of the word "PAID" displayed on the monitor. Damned if I ever know how much I paid, the system must not be swift enough to share that information with us. But wouldn't that little bit of information be nice, let alone rightfully available for us at the time we are incurring the charge? Especially with the frequency and ease with which rates can change once they are completely automated.
I checked the PA Turnpike, one of my more frequent uses, and, sure to my estimation, the rates have increased as frequently over the last 8 years (4 times total) as they had the 34 years prior. A trend where now if I hear about a toll increase anywhere I am somewhat numb to the effect. They must be using an E-Z Toll Increase gadget to pull off that level of expediency. I also later checked the ICC 200 when I could safely access the web. Turns out, not only can they freely adjust rates over years to come, they already do it DAILY to charge more during rush hour. And yes, they do charge very often, at the E-Z Pass-looking stations that are distributed every 1/2 mile. With that kind of non-sense you almost need a taxi-like meter running so you can watch your money disappear at every 1/5th mile, plus the base charge.
The only other odd thing that caught my attention as I was driving a busy suburb of DC today: I noticed an unusual amount of bums at every major highway stop light intersection. Slowly making their way up and down the middle of traffic like pan-handlers for charity usually do with a Fireman's boot or a Santa hat, depending on the specific fat man occasion. I of course ignored them at every opportunity, even cranking up my music in another display of "not interested, keep walkin". But now I think all they wanted was a few cents, maybe a buck or two. Something readily dug out of a pocket or change bin while sitting there waiting on the light. It's not easy to do these days, especially after being institutionalized with the cold, credited transactions that are so swiftly performed in every business large and small.
Then I realize that perhaps it they accepted E-Z Pass and got me to my destination 10 seconds faster I would have automatically complied with an $8 pledge and never given it a second thought.
There is value in actually getting a ticket and stopping and paying a toll in person. Whether by cash or credit, the exchange requires understanding of the fee and a determination of whether or not it was reasonable (not that you can opt out at that point but if it was $20 instead of $2 then you could alter your route differently next time). When the system is completely automated and occurs without notice of the fee, then this evaluation gets deferred and more than likely forgotten. Today, for instance, I had the luxury of driving most of the new ICC, intergalactic connector MD-200, or a quick and quiet bypass around the worst highway on the east coast: I-495 around DC. On approach, I noticed one sign before I entered onto the controversial course indicating a fee of $0.55. But it was fast and I wasn't sure if this was a flat rate, or a recurring charge, or a suggested donation. But as I continued onto the highway, I noticed something peculiar every couple miles. Tolls were being collected. Over and over again. I couldn't be sure since there was no explicit sign near any of the toll stations, plus there was no physical station, just E-Z pass like structures that you fly under in an instant and know that you've paid something.
I continued to wonder "How much am I paying for this joy ride?". And I never got my answer. I simply reached the end of the road and continued on a toll-free MD highway. This experience is not unique to the ICC 200. On most turnpikes throughout OH-PA-MD-NY-DE-NJ, I find that the tolls are not generally listed anywhere. In part because there are different on and off ramps for entry and tolling is adjusted accordingly. As one can still usually confirm by getting an old-fashioned ticket with the rates printed daily. But when you roll through the gate, you normally get a thumbs up in the form of the word "PAID" displayed on the monitor. Damned if I ever know how much I paid, the system must not be swift enough to share that information with us. But wouldn't that little bit of information be nice, let alone rightfully available for us at the time we are incurring the charge? Especially with the frequency and ease with which rates can change once they are completely automated.
I checked the PA Turnpike, one of my more frequent uses, and, sure to my estimation, the rates have increased as frequently over the last 8 years (4 times total) as they had the 34 years prior. A trend where now if I hear about a toll increase anywhere I am somewhat numb to the effect. They must be using an E-Z Toll Increase gadget to pull off that level of expediency. I also later checked the ICC 200 when I could safely access the web. Turns out, not only can they freely adjust rates over years to come, they already do it DAILY to charge more during rush hour. And yes, they do charge very often, at the E-Z Pass-looking stations that are distributed every 1/2 mile. With that kind of non-sense you almost need a taxi-like meter running so you can watch your money disappear at every 1/5th mile, plus the base charge.
The only other odd thing that caught my attention as I was driving a busy suburb of DC today: I noticed an unusual amount of bums at every major highway stop light intersection. Slowly making their way up and down the middle of traffic like pan-handlers for charity usually do with a Fireman's boot or a Santa hat, depending on the specific fat man occasion. I of course ignored them at every opportunity, even cranking up my music in another display of "not interested, keep walkin". But now I think all they wanted was a few cents, maybe a buck or two. Something readily dug out of a pocket or change bin while sitting there waiting on the light. It's not easy to do these days, especially after being institutionalized with the cold, credited transactions that are so swiftly performed in every business large and small.
Then I realize that perhaps it they accepted E-Z Pass and got me to my destination 10 seconds faster I would have automatically complied with an $8 pledge and never given it a second thought.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Perspective
As vast and informative the internet can be, there's one aspect that is extremely difficult to gauge. Exactly how vast is it? And where I am at any given time with respect to what everybody else is checking out? How intently are people actually visiting a site? What is their level of engagement? Are they simply breezing through some pics or are they regular visitors?
This issue boils down to perspective, something that the electronic world does not readily convey like the physical. I can thumb through thousands of novels on an e-reader, but I can't estimate the time required to finish a single tale by simply looking at the tablet. Or I can purchase millions of songs from i-Tunes, but I can't readily say which ones I am into at the moment, not like a couple of recently listened-to CD's sitting on a desk can enable.
The web, to me, is infinite. Certainly not in the literal physical or electrical sense, but considering how much information changes every instant, there would never be a baseline opportunity to begin charting all of it's waters. Websites are born and fade away every moment. News and comments feeds are live all around the world. Information is endless, but what of it is actually newsworthy, entertaining, intelligent, or credible? Social networks provide some means to learn who's into what, but only if it's a popular topic. Not everything that is created is meant for tweeting or friending. Yet that is the direction it seems everything our society is hooked on. You can friend The Today Show. Or Tweet to Tom Selleck (whether it is actually him or one of hundreds of faux names you can't always tell, again because of perspective).
Despite the endless topics and discussions on the net, it seems incredibly hard to break from routine and to actually explore something new. Something that doesn't originate from the same 5 websites that you frequent for news, status updates, and sports. On a quest, once, I typed "random search generator" on google and found that others have already experienced this same dilemma and attempted to solve it. The couple sites I first saw didn't look too credible, and I wasn't keen on clicking something with no visible web address or indication of what was behind door #3. I also saw a site called StumbleUpon (yes, I forced myself not to exclaim that I stumbled upon their site). It looks like a Pandora but for everything on the net, not just music. And it looks like you have to explain what topics you are into without relying on automatic trackers that online advertisers use to prey on their victims, er customers.
I guess what I would want most would be something like where you spin a globe and point your finger at the next destination. Something free-spirited and romantic but without risk of ending up on Mars. Or something like channel surfing, a casual and open-minded act where you can browse an eclectic assortment of tastes by just hitting the channel button (less popular and slower nowadays, but fun before digital). Surfing, in general, represents a tidal adventure without prescription or known course. A simple mission to ride on a personalized platform, plus a conquerable body of water. The internet is not conquerable. So doubt we'll see internet surfing anytime soon.
I imagine I can always try generating random words by flipping through an (unabridged) dictionary, then inputting those into random search engines and start clicking away. Then I can get my virtual passport stamped as I visit all of the culturally significant destinations on the first 20 web hits. But that's the thing. There would probably still be millions of hits. How would I know what is relevant, non-biased, or just worth my while to look at? Every site gets the same face value respect of an equal size font link and short description, unless it is clearly marked as a "sponsored" advertiser. Much like how an old store sign weathers and fades, I think outdated or inactive website links should be displayed in aging fonts. Or porn site links should be flashy and cheesy. Or tax preparation sites should remain the same dull blue.
All this ranting gets me thinking that perhaps somebody has already proposed a remedy, and that perhaps this remedy is already posted in the sea of knowledge, but has yet to be discovered. In which case I might as well continue my explorations and hope to stumble upon gold. Or at least a shorter passage to India.
This issue boils down to perspective, something that the electronic world does not readily convey like the physical. I can thumb through thousands of novels on an e-reader, but I can't estimate the time required to finish a single tale by simply looking at the tablet. Or I can purchase millions of songs from i-Tunes, but I can't readily say which ones I am into at the moment, not like a couple of recently listened-to CD's sitting on a desk can enable.
The web, to me, is infinite. Certainly not in the literal physical or electrical sense, but considering how much information changes every instant, there would never be a baseline opportunity to begin charting all of it's waters. Websites are born and fade away every moment. News and comments feeds are live all around the world. Information is endless, but what of it is actually newsworthy, entertaining, intelligent, or credible? Social networks provide some means to learn who's into what, but only if it's a popular topic. Not everything that is created is meant for tweeting or friending. Yet that is the direction it seems everything our society is hooked on. You can friend The Today Show. Or Tweet to Tom Selleck (whether it is actually him or one of hundreds of faux names you can't always tell, again because of perspective).
Despite the endless topics and discussions on the net, it seems incredibly hard to break from routine and to actually explore something new. Something that doesn't originate from the same 5 websites that you frequent for news, status updates, and sports. On a quest, once, I typed "random search generator" on google and found that others have already experienced this same dilemma and attempted to solve it. The couple sites I first saw didn't look too credible, and I wasn't keen on clicking something with no visible web address or indication of what was behind door #3. I also saw a site called StumbleUpon (yes, I forced myself not to exclaim that I stumbled upon their site). It looks like a Pandora but for everything on the net, not just music. And it looks like you have to explain what topics you are into without relying on automatic trackers that online advertisers use to prey on their victims, er customers.
I guess what I would want most would be something like where you spin a globe and point your finger at the next destination. Something free-spirited and romantic but without risk of ending up on Mars. Or something like channel surfing, a casual and open-minded act where you can browse an eclectic assortment of tastes by just hitting the channel button (less popular and slower nowadays, but fun before digital). Surfing, in general, represents a tidal adventure without prescription or known course. A simple mission to ride on a personalized platform, plus a conquerable body of water. The internet is not conquerable. So doubt we'll see internet surfing anytime soon.
I imagine I can always try generating random words by flipping through an (unabridged) dictionary, then inputting those into random search engines and start clicking away. Then I can get my virtual passport stamped as I visit all of the culturally significant destinations on the first 20 web hits. But that's the thing. There would probably still be millions of hits. How would I know what is relevant, non-biased, or just worth my while to look at? Every site gets the same face value respect of an equal size font link and short description, unless it is clearly marked as a "sponsored" advertiser. Much like how an old store sign weathers and fades, I think outdated or inactive website links should be displayed in aging fonts. Or porn site links should be flashy and cheesy. Or tax preparation sites should remain the same dull blue.
All this ranting gets me thinking that perhaps somebody has already proposed a remedy, and that perhaps this remedy is already posted in the sea of knowledge, but has yet to be discovered. In which case I might as well continue my explorations and hope to stumble upon gold. Or at least a shorter passage to India.
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