Diary

Does anyone keep a personal diary these days? The kind where you sit down to a neatly bounded tablet (book, not an iPad), flip and date the day's chapter, and confess your innermost thoughts, emotions, and reflections on the day? A collective of personal memoirs for only you to relive? Or for the world, after you die, if you've accumulated some degree of fame, respect, or public notoriety during your earthly years.

I was reading about the manliest president this country has ever had. The guy who could single-handedly fall a wooly mammoth, if they were still around. He was notorious not only for his exotic safari expeditions, but for his killer mustache and trademark domination of the bear industry. I speak, of course, of President Theodore Roosevelt. Or Teddy.

As it turns out, Teddy Roosevelt experienced one hell of a bad day before he became president. In the late 1800's, 1890's perhaps, Teddy was a happily married man and proud son working his way up the political ladder. That all came to a crashing halt one day when his wife, who had fallen previously ill, passed away in their home. But that wasn't the only significant windfall suffered that day. His mother, who was also sharing his home with him, also tragically passed away later that day. A man who maintained his own personal memoirs, this day was ultimately marked in his diary merely as a giant "X", never to be recounted again.

But what was initially surprising to me, aside from the obvious dread and horrifying pain suffered that day, was the fact that one of history's toughest figures recorded his life's ups and downs in a personal diary. By today's standards, that was the equivalent of hearing that Chuck Norris has feelings. But therein lies the rub- this is all just a matter or perspective.

One could argue that a diary serves multiple purposes. There is the obvious sentimental and therapeutic aspect. At my old job, there was saying, actually it was embossed as 1 of 15 strategic program principles, that goes "If you can't write it down, you don't understand it." Which I later truncated to "You don't understand it." since most of the people there really didn't after all. Anyway, this message has strong merit, and can also apply to human psyche. I'm sure if I counseled my psychology major friends (goes both ways, I guess, they are psychology majors and major friends), they would tell me this is some form of personal understanding. Writing down your thoughts so you can get a better understanding of how you feel.

A diary also helps you remember shit. This would have been tremendously valuable in the 1800's since most people were still waiting for the first disposable Polaroid. In that case, if you wanted to relive how beautiful your wife looked on your wedding day you would have to commit it to prose. Fortunately, we have both options today, but until Smellivision makes it commercial debut there is still no other way to describe how funky her roasted chicken filled the air that day than by words and looks of disgust.

Lastly, a diary back then simply gave you something to do at the end of the day. It kept your mind busy or per-occupied, perhaps, from more serious situations around you (think POW's or even Anne Frank). Today that is hardly an issue. In an ironic reality, I honestly feel that there are no words to describe the extent to which entertainment has subjugated the personal diary. Sure we are lucky to have blogs, but everything is written for an audience. This can't possibly carry the same tone as something where you reveal your deepest secrets. Something that would result in shock if stolen or infringed upon by suspecting parents or significant others. (or the feds, perhaps).

So I guess the true reason for speculation is that the only benefit a personal diary would seem to offer these days is one of sentimental release and personal understanding. Like mediation. You could even keep an electronic one, but that seems counter to the whole personal relationship that one seems to form with the little tabbed book. Plus it exponentially increases the liability to wrongful infringement. (Like a nude photo that sneaks onto the web.) Every other benefit that a diary would provide in the past is now surpassed. Plus if you want any chance at a historical comparison to the manliest man who has ever lived, you definitely don't want to keep one.

Or actually maybe you should, like the rest of us. Just don't tell anyone you do.

A Dozen Bakers

Today's post looks at an old time saying/practice and it's relevance in current society. This is a special edition post since in addition to the normal reporting and opining, an investigation was conducted, with data to follow.

So looking at the traditional Baker's Dozen, my education has taught me that this concept arose back in a time before supermarkets and 7-11's. (Yes, as usual in my research, I spare myself the time and grant you the opportunity to Wiki any necessary relevant facts- and plus stories, real or close, are way more interesting.) A time when carriages were drawn by horse, butter was churned by hand, and evening supper was lit by candlelight. A setting perhaps not far removed from strict Mennonite societies of a classic Harrison Ford film.

Back in those days, food was procured directly from the specialist preparing it, so the local butcher, milkman, or in this case, bakers. It is hard to imagine the setting completely, since without common-day preservatives, bread would have experienced a much shorter shelf life (another term from the same era) before becoming inedible, except for swine. Nonetheless, bakers would roll out fresh selections on a daily basis, much like Subway does today. However, unlike Subway, a typical order for a dozen of anything would normally include a gracious extra one. (I haven't taken a ruler to a Subway footlong but I'm guessing that you always only get 12 inches.) I say gracious since I'm not exactly sure what the true intent was. My understanding has been that it was to compensate for a potential "bad apple" in the bunch, thereby serving as a modern day quality control extra. Plus this measure is easily compensated for in the world of baking (unlike milk), since volume of bread would not have been as rigidly controlled (and therefore valued) as compared to the volume of milk. Bread bakes out to a size according to the lump of pre-bake (whatever it's called) chosen by the baker whereas milk volume doesn't fluctuate from the cow to your mouth. Enough dissection on that point.

But the other, and likely better, explanation for the extra unit in a dozen was as an act of good business. To foster a strong and valuable relationship with the customer, who, back in those days, probably was a next door neighbor. You can easily amortize the cost of a single doughnut or roll, especially when you are baking dozens. Even over the cost of a one dozen, one extra unit represents only a 8% savings on the cost of a single item. Not much, really, by today's discounts. You can probably find a coupon for 15% off a pizza anywhere if you look. Or just mention you have a AAA card and you should get 10% off something. Doubt you'll even get carded either, since it's only 10%.

So leaping forward to today, and given the generally uncomfortable feeling towards the number 13, especially on Friday the 13th, I figured I'd poll some local Baltimore businesses and find out just how many bakeries honor this classic favor. A (regular) dozen bakeries, in fact. However, despite modest attempts in contacting a dozen bakeries, only a few responses were received and only one local bakery was confirmed to offer a true Baker's Dozen. That one is Cakelove, and they actually offer an excellent graphical depiction of this deal on their website. The remaining responses were all negative, plus I conclude that the non-responders were a "no", as well. In this case, only 1 out of 12 bakeries contacted in the Baltimore area still practice this tradition. And thankfully somebody does or it would appear that perhaps this thoughtful, business-savvy gesture would be completely forgotten on tomorrow's youth. Plus the number 13 wouldn't have anything positive going for it anymore.

In closing, while this data is far from anything statistically relevant, it does suggest that the lean, mean, margin-minimalizing machine driving the world's economy has taken a firm hold on even the mom and pop (and other local) bakers. So then, much like eggs, colored pencils, and (unfortunately) beer, when you order a dozen Smiley cookies, a dozen Donuts, or a dozen cheesy stuffed breadsticks, you can bet you're probably only going to get 12. Unless you get lucky and patron a place like Cakelove, which, apparently, are one out of a dozen.

-->Closing shout out two personal favorites, Hamilton Bakery and Touchet Touchet Bakery. (Hamilton, although not offering Baker's Dozens, does offer price discounts on larger quantities). Check these guys out and if you're nice, maybe they'll throw an extra one in for ya!

Keys

Ever notice how key technology is evolving at a faster clip than just about everything else in our lives? Including our natural human ability to adjust to the technology?

There is certainly a security basis for continuing to evolve the basic key design. Once commercialized, a new lock and key design will eventually fall prey to hackers (in the traditional sense). But the additional security, and convenience, measures that are now used beyond the historic pin-tumbler design and mechanical operation can be as confounding as they are convenient.

The other day, the news reported on a hotel that experienced some sort of computer-system glitch in the middle of the night. It may have actually been New Year's Eve since this glitch ultimately resulted in TV footage of masses of people stranded in the hotel halls and lobby all night. The reason: the glitch screwed over the electronic key entries to the rooms, so all those magnetic cards the patrons were holding were useless. And apparently, the system included no override or mechanical backup mode, either (a situation that would certainly not arise in the nuclear lodging industry).

In another setting, I, as I'm sure like many of you out there can relate, am finding it more and more difficult to understand exactly what launch sequence I need to follow in order to initialize liftoff of any popular commercial vehicle. A few years back I had my first encounter with a Prius. As a rental car, on a worktrip, on my own. Thankfully I wasn't in a rush since it took me about 10 minutes to get the car moving. And it didn't help that I didn't hear any re-affirming or congratulatory hum of an engine during that process, or as I was efficiently scootering away, either. I also encounter the same paranoia when I irregularly get behind the wheel of my girlfriend's Mini Bradley Cooper. Fortunately she's usually in the vehicle with me and can remind me all the necessary steps to engage the vehicle, as well as how to properly disengage it when completed. Yet, even with all the experience, I still find myself, immediately after any bit of supposed success, double checking all the steps and confirming the correct vehicle ignition status, perhaps not much differently than how a Chinese jet pilot is formally trained. In my mind, the sequence of steps is simply "not normal", with "normal" being "insert and turn key", or my car, or "no key-like-looking device = no car move".

Sure, we are creatures of habit, but we are also creatures of convention, and there's plenty of conventions that simply shouldn't be tampered with. If designers want to go off and use off this electronic, magnetic, and mostly Japanese technology to enhance a key's use, security, and protection, go for it. Just make sure you still package it in a metal shell that looks and functions like a key. If not, the only people you're truly dissuading are the everyday folks who have to re-learn this nonsense every time their car is in the shop. Or when they're late driving their best friend's car to a wedding. Or when they are being chased by vandals and have just seconds to roll out... before yielding to the more deserving operators who are not really taken by all the advances anyway.

Keys, in absolutely every sense, spelling, and definition of the word, are simple. Keep 'em that way.

Online Volunteering

A few years ago I was big into cancer research. Sure, there was a personal reason, but that is not important for this discussion. Aside from inviting myself into the Pitt Medical Library and performing my own research (I wasn't able to check out books since I wasn't a student but I could read them there), I found a couple other ways to help. The local Hillman Cancer Center, a place that redefines patient care as getting first-class service at a 5-star hotel - every visit, had a program where volunteers could assist in actual lab research. This was a true divergence from traditional hospital volunteer roles, and as a lifelong geek, one that I could not pass up.

Another way I found to help was actually through the internet. I discovered Cancer Research - UK and they were looking for people to join their discussion forums online and help brainstorm creative ways to develop their program, streamline research, and raise funds. So I joined. I think I was the only US person in the forum, but it was great to join the discussions, contribute some ideas, and also just generally add some cool, interesting, and likewise motivated people to my social circle. Unfortunately, the discussions eventually tapered off and the last I checked, while the group is still active, the online volunteering aspect of their non-profit is no longer advertised. But thankfully, I just learned of another forum that promotes many more online volunteerism opportunities.

Sparked.com touts itself as an online matchmaker between volunteers with various skills (computer, design, grant writing, fundraising, etc.) with organizations, small and large, that have a need. I haven't signed up yet, but I am looking to in the near future, since really, if you have the time and are just wasting it away surfing the net anyway, why not validate your curious adventures by helping somebody out? It actually sounds a lot like a Craigslist forum where you explain to people why their messages were removed, except this example of touting your knowledge and skill can be met with warm gratitude and not hate mail.

Another noteworthy online volunteer site, just now discovered the same way I found Cancer Research - UK a few years ago (by Googling the key words), is the United Nation Volunteer's OnlineVolunteering.org. They, too, seem to offer a lot of the same opportunities that Sparked does, including writing and editing, design, translation, project development, and consulting. And luckily, I just now see, they also welcome people looking to help out with research, well.

While there are likely several other worthy volunteer programs online, the point is simply don't let your physical location, timing, or lack of people skills get in the way of volunteering. This avenue actually opens a whole new world of community service, since people that may not have otherwise come together in the same fashion in the past to keep a worthy program alive, can now, at their leisure and on their own time, contribute to something positive. Just think, of all the resolutions you may have made, to eat right, exercise, or get more involved in the community, this is pretty much the only thing you can accommodate by just doing what you always do - sitting in front of the computer. Plus, if you are helping somebody out, you might even be able to use that as some justification for no longer watching your diet or jogging.

Princess

Top Ten Lists are too conventional.

In recognition of the 10th installment of this blog, I present the Middle 10 List of names honoring public figures:

1. This blog
2. Branson, MO (for Sir Richard Branson)
3. Pennsylvania (for William Penn)
4. George Foreman Grill
5. Bryce Dallas Howard (honor actually is bestowed on the city of Dallas, where she was conceived by Ron Howard and her nameless mother)
6. Marxism
7. Chevy Chase, MD
8. Mariana Trench (for the Spanish Queen Mariana of Austria)
9. Donald Duck OJ
10. This list

Nothing is arbitrary, especially names. Names represent public identity. And identity encompasses more than just a word, but interests, hometown, family, gender, race, title, intellect (of your parents), objectives, values, and endless other attributes.

Names can also inspire a list for topical examination. Such as a Kate Middleton List of names honoring public figures. 

Thanks, Princess.

Reciprocity

I'm not much of a reader in the traditional novel sense. And apparently neither was Andy, from his own admission. I would say that I am not much of a reader at all, except that argument is easily invalidated by my primary actions with newspapers, magazines, and work memos. "Reading" denotes some elective engagement with formulated or thought-out tales, fictional or otherwise. The ability to attentively accept and enjoy endless styles and substance, without falling prey to simple distractions or midnight slumber. Or to simply be a "junkie for the written word", as one book-turned-film defined. Which I cannot honestly claim to embody.

But once in a while, I discover a good tale, more than likely non-fiction, and I actually finish it. The most recent example was actually a fantastic psychology book called Influence: The Power of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini. A self-acclaimed National Bestseller, the persuasive doctor makes a bonus point on power of authority by including his Ph.D. credentials on the front cover. Excellent play and fine job, sir!

In short, the book points out a handful of mechanisms that "compliance practitioners" employ to essentially bait and hook unsuspecting human clients. Essentially, as the title explains, how people persuade other people to get them to do anything, a skill most beneficial in the art of sales. The points are well made and tremendously supported by theory, examples, and insider investigations. But in addition, as one may be more interested, the author also summarizes ways in which you can easily recognize when you are being played, and how best to avoid falling victim. This, in turn, transforms the text into a consumer's spending shield while at the same time stocking the seller's armory with armor-piercing bullets. Unfortunately, then, empowerment befalls the readers, and the illiterate be damned (and poor).

But one of the elements of persuasion illustrated in the book was on Reciprocity. I'm paraphrasing and going off my sub-par memory here, but a simple act of kindness, or even just the impression of being kind, can result in extreme gratitude in appreciation. So much so, that the return gratitude can exceed the initial favor. Perhaps the feeling of indebtedness is the true culprit, as several people in debt could acknowledge a desire for swift repayment, and to uphold a positive social standing as a responsible, thoughtful, and appreciative member of society. Or, more primitively, the do-unto-others lessons that every child should be taught, regardless of faith or millennium.

For me, though, today as I consciously recognize, reciprocity is not so much about persuasion, but in simple gratitude. A side effect may turn out to be persuasive, or possibly motivating, but that is not the initial intent. Nope, I write this to say thanks to my supportive girlfriend and to recognize her dedication to fitness this New Year. Sure, everyone is riding a resolution wave right now, but she is hanging 10.8, so there, more than the normal awesome 10. And hopefully she will keep it up. But regardless of her/mine/our continued future dedications, I appreciate her support of the blogging adventures and simply wish to acknowledge her endeavor.

Plus given our per-occupation with our new endeavors now, we can claim slightly more respectable reasons for being only medium-well readers.

Coffee

Nothing beats a fantastic cup of coffee. Strike that, nothing beats a marginal cup of coffee. I'm not much of a critic when it comes to getting my hands on some hot caffeine first thing in the morning. And one testament to that comes from any backpacking excursion, when instant Giant Eagle (or any brand) coffee packs prove more valuable than the sanitized drinking water after a cold and dewy slumber.   That said, I do have some preferences.

But rather than go into my favorites, let me break down the scientific basis for coffee's popular success. First off, it originates from a bean. And beans are the absolute best gift on earth. From cocoa, to green, to navy, to Jack and his magical beanstalk, nothing beats the versatility and nutritional reward of the bean family.  I have volunteered to live only off of beans just to prove this point, but since it is understood to be Truth, I'll simply save it for the afterlife where all things perfect belong. 

Secondly, coffee is brewed. If the nation was asked to rank it's top 3 beverage processing techniques, brewing would easily top the list, followed closely by shaken and stirred. Which, conveniently, stirring also applies to coffee.

Thirdly, coffee is highly customizable. Not only can standalone winners such as cream and sugar be added in any proportions, but bourgeois versions with whipped cream and extra shots of espresso can be added.  In less common varieties, the caffeine even be removed and repackaged as Rock Star energy drinks.  What other beverage can so dominate the human pallet that it remains popular even after removing the primary drug?

No other beverage comes close to this magnitude of acceptance. Plus, it is found that when these primary elements of greatness are combined that more formidable delights are possible, such as Vanilla Java Porter. However, by removing any of these elements, mediocre compromises result, such as Old English Tea, green bean casserole, and burritos. No, the recipe for success is clear, but as in consuming anything great in the world, "Everything in moderation, including moderation."

Which makes the bottomless cup of coffee supreme, on occasion.

(Shout out to Square Cafe, Eat'N Park (in restaurant and home brew), Ale Mary's, and Starbucks (Pike Place Roast). Those are some damn fine cups of Joe.)