Apparently I entered the raffle at a local craft show a couple weeks ago. It's one of those things where when you walk around and mingle with other wishful entrepreneurs, you innocently sign petitions, enter drawings, and take a free Tootsie Roll just to affirm your new camaraderie. I actually did the same thing over the summer at a Chili Fest and that one paid off with an eventual $50 gift certificate to a vegan deli. Trust me, their chili was fantastic, and I was looking forward to enjoying more of it, except the certificates made great gifts (it's not a re-gift if you won it).
I expect most people, like myself, cannot readily assign a dollar value to a free 3-hour decluttering session. But thankfully, the prize includes this valuation. In the spirit or barter, something I've always admired in principle but not so much in practice, you can equate this prize to any of the following:
- 135 happy hour beers at Mahaffey's (best craft selection/deal around)
- 5 months rental of a storage locker
- about 15 chicken parmigiana dinners at Olive Garden (the OG, for short)
- 225 Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers at Wendy's
So what does one do with a 3-hour decluttering session? From the sound of it, it equates to throwing shit out. This is a necessary part of everyday life anyway, and if it wasn't then our homes would be stuffed with junk mail, Coke cans, and kitty litter. But clutter implies semi-important papers and goods, things that at one time we thought would be valuable, and then they sit around, collect dust, and over time we find that they are worthless pieces of crap that need to go. I'm fine with classifying my waste as clutter, and even throwing it out on occasion on my own terms (and without any gentle coaching, free for 3 hours or otherwise). But "decluttering" just sounds like a painful, time-intensive, extraction of goods from all the valuable aspects of your life. Much like declawing a cat.
My natural response to winning to the prized decluttering session is "No thanks", but given the amount of time that has transpired since I entered the drawing, I imagine that several other winners have already passed on the opportunity. Plus, the notification email suggests other valued alternatives to claiming the decluttering session, including optionally a "free Time Awareness Session", or some other timed phone call consults. This further leads me to conclude that nobody really even wants the damn decluttering session. Instead, I bet everyone wants the $225 check, or even just half of that in equivalent cheeseburgers. But how do you say "No thanks" without ruining the new kindred craft friendship, especially if it's possible you're the last one on the winners list? I have no clue.
And so, like most other "eh, I'm not really sure what to do with this" messages, electronic or from the Land of Physicality, it will likely forever just sit around as an initially valued offer but ultimately worthless piece of crap that needs to go.