I bet most people, if asked, would say that they prefer to live their lives without direction from outside sources. Freely making choices, discriminately taking advice when offered, and generally not taking orders from anybody or anything.
But all that goes out the window when you're on the road. When physical and time constraints dictate, and there is an obvious lack of pre-existing knowledge, directions are an absolutely necessity. Directions in the form of interstate signs, radio alerts, and flashing emergency lights. And nowadays the customized variety in the form of GPS maps, with real-time response to traffic and location, and nearly complete databases of which avenues are truly one-way.
However, one road sign that I particularly dislike, and which modern GPS receivers do not acknowledge, is the No U-turn directive. It's not that prohibiting the action isn't warranted, it's that this often represents a time when someone is most desperate for recalibration and getting back on the right course. Not only is the helpless driver going in the wrong direction, but they are going in the worst possible wrong direction- the opposite from where they need to be going. And the only person in history who tried to use his to advantage (and still failed) was Christopher Columbus. Yes, he failed.
I get why the signs are needed. Maybe one of the traffic lanes has an extended turn arrow. Or maybe the lane isn't wide enough to permit a zero-point turn. Or maybe it is simply a case of "Hey, this is the only way for traffic to get from A-to-B and everyone does it but the locals don't want it to continue anymore". Which is fine, but you're still screwing over the non-locals and the lost drivers, especially if that really is the only good way to get from A-to-B.
And that is where the no U-turn sign falls short next to other road signs. It just plain doesn't give a shit. It's a honey badger. It's not there to help you get from A-to-B. It's there to tell you what you're not allowed to do. And the Garmins of the world don't help matters either when they recognize that you are going the wrong way yet fail to give you a reasonable set of actions to re-orient. "Recalculating". It's just another way of saying "You're on your own, now, douche-bag."
It can be a racket for police, too. I saw it routinely in my past neighborhood, near an array of parkway on-ramps and one-way streets that would make a Jackson Pollock painting look purposeful. Upon locals taking advantage of creative U-turning during rush hour, one parking lot posted 3 or 4 signs expressly prohibiting it on their property. The result: locals quickly learn that the action is no longer safe, but distressed visitors looking for salvation end up turning into police traps. Thanks locals, for not only setting us up for tickets, but still failing to provide us any reasonable alternatives.
And that is my simple wish. An alternative direction. Something with just a little more information such as "Go 1 block and use the Chick-Fil-A lot." Or "If you really, really need to, then go ahead and turn." And while we're at it, throw in No Parking signs. Basically any signage that expressly prohibits an action that is seemingly very much desired, but then fails to provide any alternative. To just say "no" to something without addressing the underlying need, well, is just irresponsible. And almost certainly a product of the "eh, deal with it yourself" mentality that puts America way behind the Japanese is terms of civil cooperation.
But until we reach that level of social responsibility, how about we just position Chick-Fil-A lots at regular intervals along the highways?
